Cliché adventure of Felix
by Evercry
Summary: A teen by the name Felix starts his pokèmon journey four years late, unlike the trainers that started out at ten years old. With dreams of finding love instead of becoming the pokèmon champion, he has one of the most boring and predictable adventures ever.
1. Chapter 1

I once fucked a can of Chef Boyardee raviolis. That's how alone I am in this world. Pokémon? Screw that, I want a girlfriend. Wanted one since I was seven. Never knew what kind of girl, but I had this mental image of a shadowy figure, perfection of a girl, shrouded in a holy light from the heavens. An amazing person, the kind where the two of us could talk about anything. Get along perfectly. A girl who's strong, older than me, and funny. Wait, funny girls don't exist.

"Oh, when you're ten, you'll get to choose a Pokémon! Isn't that great, Felix?" My mom used to say. "Pokémon first, serious relationships, second."

Yeah, I also want to have a real relationship with this mystery girl that I've yet to meet. Not like, three months and we're done. Screw that. If I get a girl, I want her and me to stay together till the end. One shot, one end. Which is why I'm picky. And a huge womanizer. Gotta test the merchandise before buying, you know? I'm really bad at it though. Imagine my surprise when my stupid ten year old ass found out that you can't bend the laws of universe. Aka, make people love you. But I'm trying my hardest.

Felix is my name by the way. Simple, short, ladies love it.

"Girls like guys who are amazing with Pokémon. Caring and sweet, real dense too. Because those guys tend to focus on their goal, and women love guys who go for their hard set goal. When they overcome their obstacles on the way to the goal, it makes you look like a cool guy and they want you more. And if you don't notice them, it only makes them more attracted to you." Said some bum behind the Pokémart once, and then he threw up right on my shoes. They were imported too. :^(

I wanted to say that it only happens fifty percent of the time. For example, my cousin was super focused on his goal, and he achieved it years later. Overcoming many goals and what not. But he's already twenty, and single. And I think he'll stay single, forever.

And how did he achieve his goal? Pokémon battles. Oh yeah, you're da real man, Gabriel. Commanding your pet to beat up another kid's pet. Super masculine. I always disliked Pokémon battles. What fun there is to command a creature to fight another creature? Having them to fight your battles. Having them overcome some imaginary obstacles set by power hungry gym leaders and the government while you sit back and run your mouth with commands.

If I were to ever set out on a Pokémon journey, it would be to find the perfect girl for me. Other than that, no thank you. I'll stick to my city and search here. Actually, I've been searching for a girlfriend for two years now. No luck. When the other ten year old's were receiving their Charmanders and Squirtles, I was flirting with officer Jenny.

"You know, if you become a trainer with cool, strong Pokémon and earn lots of badges, girls will notice you."

"But damn it, I want a girl to notice me as a person first, not what Pokémon I have and how well I order them to blow shit up. That's just, not manly. It's childish." That's why I had a countermeasure for that. I'll get the weakest, shabbiest, stupidest and ugliest looking Pokémon in the event that I become a trainer. (You know, Pokémon that nobody ever wants.)

It'll act as a filter. It'll filter out girls who notice me as a person, from girls who notice me because of Pokémon. A job which is made all the more easier by the fact that I live in Kanto. Aka, no fancymon like Lucario or Gardevoir.

Another reason why I didn't set out on a Pokémon journey, even though my mother was pushing me through the door at that time, was because I screwed up on day one. After I hit twelve years, my mom practically kicked me out with our family pokémon. I always hated the fucker. It creeped me the hell out. Wooper was its species name, Droplet was his name.

A small and blue creature with two tiny, light purple horns on both sides of his head. And dark blue curved stripes on the front of his body. It had a tail as well. Unsurprisingly, no hands. And two, tiny black eyes. His vacant, soulless stare always made me feel the creeps. The thing had zero personality whatsoever. When other pokèmons would display clear happiness, anger, sadness, this little shit would just stare with the same horrifying smile. Never changing, never blinking.

So, armed with a soulless creature from the depths darkest depths of sea (actually, from the local pond), I set out. Leaving the Pewter city, yes, my hometown, I decided to aim straight for Cinnabar Island. Since the leader there was a fire type trainer, I figured I'll sike Droplet on his poor fire Pokémon. Maybe check out some bikini clad girls while I'm at it. After that, I'd come back to Pewter city, see mom and dad, then beat the crap out of Brock. He's our city's gym leader. Rock type trainer. Easy kill. With two badges under my belt, it should be enough to attract the attention of some girls. Maybe even trainer girls.

I was planning on cutting through Viridian forest to get straight on to Route 17. From there, hitch a lapras ride from some trainer to Cinnabar Island. Alas, it was not meant to be. I encountered a trainer in the forest.

The kid dressed like one of those cringy trainers. Bright colored jacket and pants, a snapback cap, and a backpack. And he was probably a whole year younger than me. He even had the audacity to make fun of me for starting my Pokémon journey so late. He called me old for crying out loud. So I challenged him, thinking that I'll stomp the bitch into the ground and thus kick-start my girlfriend searching journey with a satisfying win.

Lo and behold my fucking surprise when he brought out a Venosaur and blasted Droplet to fuck all. And as I watched that Solar Beam shred down Droplet, the shining ethereal light from the attack made me reach enlightenment.

I was too stupid to handle the outside world. Autism can only get a twelve year old so far before hitting a wall. So I packed what scraps remained from my 'starter Pokémon' and scurried back to my town as that trainer douche laughed his ass off. Beaten by an eleven year old pro wannabe. Tragic could not begin to describe the state of my self esteem, which I admit, lacked even in my crotch region.

So here I am, two years later. Sitting in my tiny room in the middle of nowhere, pondering on my minuscule dreams and hoping for a brighter tomorrow.

Oh yeah, Droplet lived. Unfortunately, the pokècenter managed to stitch him back together.

I'm fourteen now, applying for a job at a local fast foot joint as a shitter scrubber. Not the life I imagined for myself, but fuck it. My father is already disappointed in me as it is, so at least I'll earn my own lunch. Hey, maybe I'll be able to rent out my own place somewhere in a far corner of the Pewter city. There's only so many disappointed looks from my father and sad sighs from my mom that I can handle.

Unfortunately, as all things in life, my plan was not meant to be fulfilled as the universe decided to deny me of that too.

* * *

Oh god, what time it is? My clock! It didn't ring. Piece of electrical crap. I was gifted an electrical clock in a form of Pikachu head from my grandma. Made of weak plastic and cheap materials, ordered from Unova region. And today, my first day at my first job, it didn't go off. God damn it grandma! I knew that bitch was bad news from the start.

Snapping open my eyes, I ninjaned my way out of the bed. Alas, my leg got wrapped in my cover and I took a dive into the floor. I think I cracked a rib. But whatever. I got to get to work.

Ripping open my closet doors, I went through my clothes. Right, I'll be scrubbing toilets today. For the rest of my natural life. There for, no fancy clothes. Not that I have any to begin with. Brown sweatpants, blue shirt, sandals and socks. That'll do.

I rushed out into the hallway and into the bathroom next door. Hygiene is important after all. I deposited some toothpaste into my mouth, chewed it and downed it with tap water. Good enough.

I barged into the living room. Father was already out, working as a street cleaner. Big pokèmon, once outside their pokéball, tend to do their potty breaks wherever they feel like it. I found my mom on the couch, watching some drama show. She had Droplet in her lap and was petting it. The little Wooper slowly turned its head around like a machine and set it's gaze on me with that same creepy smile.

As always, he spent his days on the couch, eyes glued to the television while getting petted by my mom.

Once I dashed to the door, I heard small footsteps behind me. Turn around, see the water pokèmon by my leg. "No, Droplet. Stay! Stay back! Power of Arceus compels you!" I couldn't let him follow me to work. Or let him out in general. God knows what sort of calamity would befall Pewter city.

Ever since our unfortunate outing two years ago, whenever I would go outside, this little spawn of hell would try to follow me out the door. Guess he still didn't want to let go of the idea that he will forever remain my mom's pet. That or he wanted to burn down the neighborhood. I'm still not sure.

Once I securely exited my house perimeter and made sure that Droplet didn't get out, I made my way towards PikaDiner. Yeah, that's the name of the fast food restaurant. Look, I didn't name the fucking thing, alright?

People had their pokémon out in the open pretty much all the time. Little kids were playing with their pokèmon in the park which I ran past. The street was always asinine to get through, since the pokèmon owners, trainers and pet keepers alike, had them outside the pokéballs too. It honestly sucks. Imagine how much fucking space a Rhyhorn or a Snorlax takes up in a street. And even now, I lost count of how many times I bumped into some pokèmon. I even got zapped when I tripped over a Pichu. Ironic.

Cursing at whatever dumbass that didn't watch over that pokémon, I got to the diner. The interior of the building is entirely Pikachu themed. Seats, Pikachu face. Tables, Pikachu. Food, guess what? Pikachu. Seriously, what is up with people and that rat pokèmon? Fucking thing doesn't even look like it deserves the hype that it gets.

"Felix! You're on time!" Announced my manager upon spotting me. God, even he dressed in all yellow. And workplace, not a single hot girl in sight too. All the workers, were teens with so much acne on their face, that combined with the contrast of their uniform, looked like exotic berries.

"Yes, sir!" I saluted like a soldier, "Ready to start my fir-"

"Fantastic. Bathroom stall two. Some old lady made a mess in there. " He handed me a bucket of water, a toilet brush and went back to ordering around more important people.

Great. First day on the job, and I already feel like I want to join a terrorist gang, like Team Rocket. Epic foreshadowing aside, I clenched my ass cheeks, scrunched up my nose and dove into the bathroom.

And immediately, the smell that sexualy harassed my nostrils was horrifying. The manager wasn't kidding about the mess. It smelled as if a Ratata got stuck in a wall, pissed itself and died.

There were three bathroom stalls, one of which seemed occupied. I have no clue how the poor bastard was holding up in this gas chamber, but I silently wished him good luck. First stall was clear, which meant, it was the third one.

And oh my Arceus, it was horrendous. The toilet didn't look like a toilet anymore. It was a fucking crime scene. There were puddles of brown on the floor as well. And in the humid, plus eighty degrees summer heat, the air was approaching swamps of dagobah level of stank, so I had to get to work before I pass.

I was cleansing the old woman's sin for six minutes straight. Barely made any progress. At this point I was contemplating on dropping it and calling the clean up crew.

Once I got to the outer rim of the toilet, something grabbed my hand. A slimy, violet thing hand. I think it belongs to Muk, a gooey, slimy pokémon of severs. But at this point, I didn't care. I started thrashing and screaming, trying to pry my hand loose out of the clutches of the violet diarrhea monster that tried to pull me into the shitter. I began whacking it's claw with the toilet brush while crying for help, little to no effect. Toilet brush, surprisingly ineffective against poison types, go figure.

The bathroom door suddenly opened. A lanky man dressed in a white lab coat with a gas mask stepped inside.

My savior had arrived. Except, he wasn't exactly what I was expecting. He's a scientist, working for the local pokémon lab. Assistant to the professor, Berkley.

I just call him Buttstank. Because he's always surrounded by those ozone damaging pokémon. You know, Weezing, Koffing, Grimer, Muk. But his favorite, from what I have seen, is that fat, rat pokémon made of garbage. Smells like him too.

Whenever I would go outside and catch a whiff of disturbing smell carried by the wind, I'd always know who's sauntering down the street. I couldn't stand near the dude for two minutes without retching.

"Tuxin! There you are! Let go of this handicapped child, now!" He ordered the terrible monster to release me, and it complied. The second I was free, I ran out of the bath stall on all fours.

I don't remember what happened afterwards because I passed out while crying and vomiting.

* * *

I woke up in a brightly lit room. My shirt was stained with puke, I had diarrhea on my pants, and a piece of it soaked through my socks. I mean, it's a mess on me. Now that I had inspected my damage, there were other things to address here.

The room I was in. It looked like a lounge. One of those break rooms that workers go to have a coffee and discuss what Lary did to his wife yesterday and why he's facing trial tomorrow.

The couch I was on definitely looked expensive. Not sure why would anyone put me here, considering the state of my clothes. Must've been that savior in shining armor with the aroma of roses. Not that smart for an assistant. And man I'm hungry. I didn't get breakfast, and whatever dinner from yesterday I had is probably all over the PikaDiners floor right now.

There were cupboards, and a table. Someone had left their tea there. That's one thing down. I went through the said cupboards. Found a lot of cookies and chocolate.

When I began indulging I'm the sweets to satiate my hunger, I heard a door open. In came the same lanky guy wearing a lab coat, minus the gas mask. Dark brown hair and violet eyes. That's definitely him. Berkley Buttstank. That ain't his last name, but that smell. Yeesh, pretty much announces his presence.

"Ah, I can see you're helping yourself to the snacks." He said in a strict yet polite manner like a gentleman.

I turned around with a face full of chocolate and cookies in my mouth. One even slowly dripped down my chin. I grabbed someone's leftover tea and took a big sip. All throughout my loud, intimate love making to the cup, Berkley grew more appalled to my manners. "I see you also took the liking of my cup. Please, keep it."

"Yeah, I'm 'assisting' myself to your food. Get it? Cuz you're not a professor? Only his lackey? Get it?"

"...indeed." He put heavy emphasis on the word with a stern expression. I must've touched a nerve there. "It is good to see your appetite is there, considering what you had to go through."

"Oh? The toilet? Nah man, ain't the worst." I laughed and took another swing of the tea. Man did it taste nasty. Who drinks tea with milk? Oh yeah, this tall bastard in a coat. "You'd be surprised what I would do for money."

"Oh really?" He replied with a smirk. On no. That look of intrigue on his face. Like a predator that got presented with a golden opportunity. I didn't like it one bit.

"So why did you bring me here? Gonna take pity on the bathroom scrubber, give me a pokémon and send me out or something?" Yeah, the classic 'professor gives Pokémon to the kid and he goes out to challenge the gyms' kind of route. "Let me tell you, I'm fully booked nowadays, but give me a call twelve years from now and I'll consider it."

"I brought you here to give you a break, and to formally apologize for what my little rascal Tuxin put you through." He replied without missing a beat with a gentle smile. Man this dude was fake, his face was like a mask.

I just hummed in acknowledgement and continued to devour all the sugary goods in the cupboards. Yet out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Buttstank wanted to say something more. Nearly a full minute later of me pigging out on the snacks and him just standing there like a statue, Buttstank spoke up again.

"Let me ask you something, Felix." He began, yet unlike when he spoke before, with formality, there was now a certain smoothness to his voice. "Do you seriously see yourself working as a bathroom cleaner for the rest of your days? Barely enough money to pay the bills? Barely enough for food? Constantly at the bottom of society? Never able to achieve something more?"

"..." I stopped chewing and acted like I was giving it a serious thought. "Yeah." I simply stated after five seconds. "Thanks for bringing me here to rest and stuff. Now if you excuse me, I gotta go back to PikeDiner and cleanse my own mess." I grumbled under my nose and went towards the door. I still had a full day's of work left and who knows how long was I out.

Unfortunately, Buttstank had no intention of letting me go. As evidenced by the strong grip that landed on my shoulder to keep me from reaching the exit. "Well I don't believe that. See I believe that fate has led me to you for a reason."

"Fate, as in your diarrhea pet, that attacked me and you just happened to be there?" I asked while turning to face him with a sharp turn, thus making him release me.

"Quite." He replied with the same, unchanging expression. He then took a step closer and lowered his voice as if someone was listening to us. "Between you and me, I'm tired of working as an assistant here. It's awful, like your clothes. Having to take orders from the dumb professor. I mean, we research things that don't even matter!"

"We spent two years trying to determine whether or not Oddish migration is related to pollen for crying out loud." I could hear and see the frustration in the guy. Those violet eyes of his were sparkling with intensity as he spoke, "And now, professor Jayla, stuck me with the studying of the…guh...smelly pokèmon." His lip curled downwards out of sickening disgust. I don't blame him. Dude looks quite uptight. That also explains why he wears a gas mask when dealing with nasty situations.

He stared me down eye to eye, and that look of his. It certainly didn't promise anything good. "So, when you look at it, you and I share the same fate."

I sneezed. Right in his face. My shirt was wet with vomit and I easily succumb to cold water. That much was expected. And while Berkley was blinking out my saliva out of his face with the same, stone cold expression, I wiped my nose on my shirt. "So, what is it that you want?" I asked with a sniff.

"I want to become a true professor! Get my own lab! My own funding from the government, so that I could focus on the things that truly matter!" Now I could hear passion within his words. Just as it came, it was gone. He relaxed again and returned to his self controlled and strict state. "And this is where you come in."

"Oh boy, here we go…"

"I need to conduct studies on something huge, something, GRAND! To give me that career boost, if you catch my meaning." He paused for dramatic effect. "A pokémon that no trainer has caught. A legendary."

We have been taught in school that it is illegal to capture a legendary Pokémon. Not only are they're too powerful to be commanded by simple trainers, but some of them are actually tied to keeping the world, the very nature, functioning. They're the guardians, the gods, the saints and the protectors and we, the humans, only inhabit their world. We don't get to control it. And it ain't exactly easy, or safe, to bring down a legendary pokèmon.

So plucking one away from whatever it is that they do, could yield some unwanted consequences.

"And I suppose you want me to…capture one." I finished his train of thought and Buttstank nodded. Okay, it's time I set this dude straight, "Professor Buttst…Berkley, you do realize that I ain't a trainer, right?" I calmly explained to him. "My last attempt didn't end swell. I'm already too old to set out on a journey."

Then there was another issue with his request. "Top it all of, catching a legendary Pokémon is like the hardest thing to do! They're legendary, for a reason."

"It's never too late to start your journey, Felix." Buttstank said confidently. As if this age old saying will motivate me. "I will become a famous professor with your help. With fame comes power. With power comes money. And with money, I could grant you any wish you have."

Any wish? With money? That made me give his proposal another thought. It has been two years. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try. After all, maybe shitty jobs can wait.

"With enough money, you can even buy **love**."

"Oh, I like that." Shitty jobs definitely can wait. Money. Oh the sweet nectar of sinful temptation. Count me the fuck in. "Alright, I'm down. How do we do this?"

Buttstank smiled and gestured to follow him. "I knew you would accept. I can see your desire. It gives you focus, makes you stronger."

He led me through a long corridor lit up by luminescent lights. Pictures of pokèmon and public data charts were hung on the walls. Not that any normal person cared for those things. "You will set out on a journey and acquire pokèmon. Meanwhile, I will track sightings and reports of legendary pokèmon in this region. As an assistant to the professor, I get access to the research database, since we do keep track of those beasts and attempt to study them from afar."

I nodded in understanding. Of course, how else would I find one of those mythical monsters.

I assume the room we entered was the main one for the researchers to conduct their studies because it was filled with scientific machinery and computers. Buttstank took out a key from his pocket and went towards one of the desks. Probably his work station or something. He returned a moment later with a red, sleek notebook in his hand.

He gave it to me, and I found that it wasn't a book, but rather a thin, metallic phone of some kind. It folded open to reveal a screen and some buttons.

"This is a pokèdex, one of the older generation ones. The only difference is, it's a hacked one. With this, I can send you the latest information of sighted legendary pokèmon." And right off the bat, illegal stuff. Maybe I should have thought this through with time?

"Since the pokèdex shows in what areas you captured the pokèmon, it will work almost the same with the provided data." He then got uncomfortably serious as he spoke, "I should probably mention that no person must know about this."

"Dude, I ain't ten, I know what the prison is and I don't plan on visiting it any time soon." I put the pokedex in my pocket. Now all we needed to discuss is my pay.

"And that's exactly why I picked you. Not bound by righteousness, but by desire. Mind not bogged down by science-" In his words, a simpleton who will do as requested without questioning. Yeah, that's not going to happen. If at any point he tries to screw me over, I'll let him have some justice. Plus, physics was my favorite subject in school so I'm not that retarded. "Ah! I almost forgot, your starter pokémon-"

"That won't be necessary. Already have one." I wonder if my mom will let me take Droplet again. Well, if she doesn't, I'll just return here. "With this out of the way, let's talk money." My most favorite topic of this entire, unexpected event.

Ten minutes and some heated negotiations later, I managed to coax a promise of forty percent of all his earnings if I get a legendary to him. We also exchanged phone numbers to keep in contact. And now I guess I'll have to go and start my journey. Again. And this time, no giving up. Fuck.

By the end of this, I should be with my dream woman. Holy hell! If I do end up getting a girlfriend throughout this journey, I won't even need to spend my cut of cash on getting one. I'll be rich and have love. Booyah, bitch!

Once I got back home, I sneaked past my mother into the bathroom to shower. Changed my clothes, grabbed a backpack, stuffed it with spare clothing and a sleeping bag. I also took my meager savings of fifty dollars. Now came the deciding moment.

I found Droplet in his pet bed, staring holes into the wall. As per usual, he didn't even react when I approached him. "Droplet, c'mere." No reaction. Okay then. I cleared my throat and said, "Say, how about we give this journey thing a second try, eh?"

He just stared at the wall, giving no reaction to what I said. I couldn't tell what he was thinking at all. We need a means of communication. "Blink once for no, two for yes."

He didn't blink. Know what? Whatever, I'm just going to take him. I took his pokéball from the kitchen, grabbed Droplet under my arm and went outside. I also notified my mom on my way out the door. "I'm off to capture a legendary pokèmon and get a girlfriend, tell dad I'm dead!"

"Alright sweetie, stay safe!"

I believe it's a custom to have your starter out and following you around. I'll only do that outside of the cities. Last thing I need is for my starter to get snatched. So once I got outside, I returned Droplet to his pokéball and set out on my journey.

And so began the most anus pulverizing crap fest in my entire fucking life. Pun intended.

-End of chapter 1-


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, I forgot to get food when I left. And the two of us, me and Droplet, are already in Viridian forest. Fuck. No problem, we'll just hunt the local pokèmon for substance. Hopefully them Pidgeys taste good.

As for the whole journey thing, I already fell back on my original plan. Cinnabar island, back to Pewter city after. Right, first and foremost, there are three things that I need. More pokèmon, and some training for Droplet. Also, to reach the nearest town and stock up on food. Which means I'll have to make a detour to Viridian city first, then Cinnabar Island. Boy this will suck. I hate detours, not being able to get to my priorities fucking blows.

Regardless, Droplet has remained the emotionless monster that he his. And this place is full of victim pokèmon. Mainly bug types. Weedles, Caterpies, Metapods. Spotted a few Butterfrees and a bunch of Pidgeys. I of course had to train up Wooper, so I made him slaughter every wild pokèmon that popped up. And he got worn down pretty quickly, he is still weak and just growing. But I think he did grow a few levels from fighting the wild pokèmon for two hours straight. His water gun began to one-shot most of the wild pokèmon by the time evening rolled up.

Both of us stopped to rest up under a tree and set up a camp. We made quite the progress in my eyes. By my assumption, we should be out of this forest in two more days. And we left a trail of fainted pokèmon in our wake. And damn, I was hungry. Droplet was definitely hungry too, although he didn't show it.

My eyes slowly shifted to the tall grass. Will I dare? My stomach grumbled loudly. Oh fuck yes I'll dare. "How about we catch ourselves some dinner?" I jumped on my feet and so did Droplet.

Most of the local wildlife left us alone after the wet carnage that Droplet caused. But occasionally, one or two brave pokèmons would still try and challenge us. We only had to walk around for a few minutes until a Caterpie popped up. Diner just came to us.

I ordered Droplet to use Water Gun and one shot our food. But instead of doing that, he spat multiple mud balls in the bugs face and took him out. I checked the pokèdex while pointing it at him. Droplet learned a new move, Mud Shot. Convenient.

I grabbed the fainted pokèmon and went back to our previous spot. "Guard this guy, if he wakes up, faint him again." Dropped the Caterpie by the tree, Droplet scurried to stand close to him as per my instructions.

Soon enough, I had a campfire going. Took me quite a while to ignite it with the old lighter I had. I'll really need to get some supplies in Viridian city. Now came the gruesome part. I had a lengthy stick that I found, but yet again, will I dare?

Going back to Pewter city would be counterproductive. And all the shops are closed by now. Besides, traveling in the dark is just outright stupid. And the two of us are weak with hunger now. Yes, I'll dare. Survival and logic, over feelings and righteousness. I threw the Caterpie in the campfire and immediately heard the sizzle of burning meat. And the smell was quite alluring. Once I deemed it cooked enough, I used the stick to stab it and lift it out of the campfire. Caveman tactics for the win!

I snapped the bug in half, and threw the juicy half with the head to Droplet while having myself the tail. However, Droplet stared at his half by the feet, he didn't even taste it.

"Do you want to starve?" I asked pointedly. I got no response or reaction.

"Then eat." I turned back to my half and bit a chunk out of it. It was surprisingly decent, kind of sweet actually. I heard Droplet starting to devour his half too.

We threw the green shells in a small pile along with the tiny pink horn that Caterpies have. It's a good thing Droplet was smart enough not to eat it, least he chokes on it.

My sleeping bag was set a moment later. When I closed my eyes, I heard Droplet jump on top of my bag. Wanted to tell him to sleep on the ground, but I'm way beyond the point of caring. I ate a pokèmin after all. Slumber soon took me over.

* * *

I was awoken by a splash of cold water in my face. I jumped up immediately. Who else but Droplet could've done that? Found him staring up at me with the same unchanging expression. Well at least he looked refreshed and recovered. "Droplet, why the-!" And then I saw the reason why he woke me up. We are surrounded by wild pokèmon.

I slowly stood up, making no sudden moves. Droplet didn't move either, that or he just didn't care enough. I counted five Caterpies, three Metapods and six Butterfrees.

Normally, their expressions were cutesy. But now, all of them were scowling, all stared at me with evident anger in their eyes and were shouting at me in their language or whatever. Which is, repeating their species name. I slowly cast my gaze to the side, where our dinner laid yesterday. Or rather the remains of green shells and a small, pink horn.

Now I understood all too well. Revenge. Okay, first priority, buy myself a few seconds. I'm the biggest target here, so naturally they will go for me first. We fought couple of Butterfrees yesterday. They only know Confusion and Gust. Caterpies and Metapods knew String Shot and Tackle.

"Oh, is this your friend?" I said while slowly lowering myself to reach for my sleeping bag. I'll use that as a shield when those bastards attack, to protect Droplet. I can survive whatever they throw at me. But it's Droplet that will have to get us out of here. "Don't worry. In three days, he will return in a form of a long shit. So pretty much the same, except brown instead of green."

And that was the cataclist that triggered them. I moved first by putting the sleeping bag over Droplet and pulled him to my chest. The combined Gust attacks from the six butterflies made me slide on the ground until my back rammed against the tree. Several streaks of white, sticky string hit me a second later, pretty much taping me to the tree.

The menacing group of wild bug pokèmon began to approach me all at the same time. When I scooped up Droplet in my sleeping bag, the hole was pointed to the ground. So I just waited for them to come closer.

I pushed against the strings that held my arms taped together in place. The bag loosed up and Droplet landed on the ground without even flinching. I smiled wickedly and grumbled, "Let 'em have it."

Droplet assaulted their combined numbers with Mud Shot. The Caterpies were the closest, all four fainted immediately as they took the mud balls point blank in their asinine scowling faces.

I saw how the Butterfrees floated higher and prepared to attack. "Dodge! To the left!" Droplet threw himself into the tall grass on his left just as multiple Gust attacks hit the ground. "Water Gun!"

Pokémon battles aren't always about who's got the strongest pokèmon, this wasn't some game after all. The smart win, stupid lose and tactics apply. In the tall grass, Droplet was hardly visible. The Butterfrees couldn't see him. And one of them already got sniped out of the air by the Water Gun. "Keep shooting them down! Stay in the grass and change your position after each attack!" I yelled and not a moment later, one of the Butterfrees used Confusion, but it seemed that it missed because a second later, a ball of water hit him down.

That should be enough to faint all of the flying ones. While Droplet was dropping Butterfrees out of the air with my genius tactics, I had a problem to deal with on my own. The Metapods didn't go for Droplet, but instead, me.

One tackled me right in the stomach. Metapod shells are hard, so I definitely felt that. The other one tackled my leg, and while it did sting, it set my leg free from the white strings. So I kicked that fucker away from myself. While I was at it, I struggled as hard as I could to free myself. And I was so close to freeing my arms.

Third Metapod tackled me in the stomach again. He shouldn't have done that because I barfed out a piece of Caterpie on his face. "Heh…got what you wanted!" His scowl deepened. Oh, he was pissed now. I felt the strings loosen around my arms from all the struggling. I ripped myself free from my bonds, and the three Metapods backed off in surprise.

I attacked first by putting the sleeping bag over one of them, scooping him up like in a bag, just like with Droplet. I immediately twisted it around, locking him inside the bag. Motherfucker wriggled like crazy in there. "Felix used slam-!" I smashed the bag into the ground, and the asshole inside stopped moving. "-It's super effective."

Then I began to spin it around like a pair of nun-chunks or a flail. "Oh yeah! Who wants some!?"

Two remaining Metapods were practically enraged that I was using one of their pals as a melee weapon. One attacked immediately with a Tackle. I drew back my live flail and swung with all of my strength. Metapod met Metapod inside the bag, and the one outside was sent flying into a tree opposite of our battleground. "And it's good!" It fell on the ground, fainted immediately.

I slowly turned around to face the last Metapod. His bravery and anger were faltering. He was backing off by wriggling and attempting to put some distance between us. "Oh no, bastard. You started this, and I intend to finish it."

I ran up to him, gathering enough momentum while drawing back the makeshift weapon. I swinged it, a loud thud came from the collision, and the enemy was launched. He flew like a green boomerang, far past the trees and landed somewhere in the bushes.

Just as I was about to shout out to Droplet, a dripping wet Butterfree dropped by my feet. I looked around. Bunch of fainted bug pokèmon all around the forest clearing. We won against their attack. We lived through their vengeance and kicked ass. "Droplet, you okay?" I called out at the tall grass. Out of the greenery stepped out my pokèmon. Same, dull smile, unscathed and with the emotional capacity of a carrot.

Before, I thought that I would get bad looking pokèmon to filter out girls who care only for awesome trainers. But now I realize it. A trainer doesn't need cool looking pokèmon. He doesn't need strong pokémon. What a trainer needs, is a good pokèmon. Because with a good pokèmon, one can achieve, anything.

"Droplet." I knelt down in front of him. "We took on a squad of wild pokèmon. And we won. You and me-"

"-as a team." Droplet stared at me, unmoving again. But! To my tremendous surprise, he turned around and tapped my hand with his tail. I was overjoyed internally, because it was the first real reaction I got out of him. Maybe he grew to admire me after I fought pokèmon myself and provided him with my genius tactical moves? No, I believe this is what people refer to as 'bond'.

Then it dawned on me, we didn't clear the house completely. There was still one in my sleeping bag. I grabbed it by the bottom and shook out the fainted Metapod. It was still in twinkle town.

"Hey, Droplet? You hungry for breakfast?"

* * *

After having the Metapod as a fine outdoors cuisine, we moved on. This time, I was high on alert in case more group attacks were to happen. Fortunately, the word in the forest probably spread fast, as all the wild pokèmon straight up ran from the two of us.

While we were busy with walking, I made a mental list of the things I need. Warmer clothes, outdoors equipment like matches and pans. A kettle for boiling water. Food for both Droplet and me. Potions, antidotes, paralysis heals, etc. And last but not least, more pokèballs. I only have one extra with me. Which means I will have to beat down some trainers to get cash. Right! I need to catch another pokèmon too. Without a team, I won't be able to even put a dent in a legendary pokèmon.

Lucky for me, I found one pokèmon. Mainly because it couldn't even move. It looked like a bee, encased in a brown shell, with two big eyes. I didn't even need a pokèdex for this one. A pokèmon by the name Kakuna. It evolves into a Beedrill. I haven't seen anyone use or own a Beedrill, so this pokèmon attracted my attention.

"Alright, Droplet. Let rip. Gently." I told to my demonic water pokèmon. He splashed it with some water and I threw my one pokèball at it. The ball twitched four times and clicked. And I caught it! "Well, that was by far the most anticlimactic event, ever."

I let the bug out to take a closer look at it. Yep, just as I assumed. It's fucking boring. It doesn't even move. I prodded it's head, no reaction. "Well fuck. Another lifeless pokèmon." Just like Droplet, except he can move around. I put the Kakuna back in his pokèball. I'll name him later.

Our journey through Viridian forest came a surprising halt when I came face to face with a trainer. Practically a kid, ten years old no doubt. In an oversized jacket and shorts. Big, round glasses on his face, blonde hair. A beginner trainer most likely. Hopefully. But he did look like he was scared of me. Good, I don't want to fight him either.

"Mh, how's about we pretend we didn't see each other?" I'm no genius, but even I had learned that the outside world is way too dangerous. I got beaten by a freaking ten year old who owned a death ray spitting plant monster. Kids that young shouldn't have such power. Therefore, I didn't want to take on this kid without any information on what pokèmon he has.

"Oh b-boy! Y-yeah, I think s-so too." He stuttered out and took a few steps back. Hm, interesting reaction. I wonder why.

I turned to leave in the opposite direction. "Good. Wouldn't do me good to get trashed on day two of my start." Did I seriously just say that out loud?

"Wait. Day two?" The kid repeated, as if not believing what he heard.

Oh shit-balls. I did.

"I thought you were a pro trainer because you look so old!" He pointed at me accusingly and took out a pokèball. "If that's the case, don't even think about going anywhere because I challenge you to a pokèmon duel!"

That bitch. Although, I need to learn to keep my cake-hole shut. Maybe I can talk him out of the duel? "Look, we had a rough start of the day, my pokèmon is tired, I am tired. Let's not do this."

He shook his head with a confident smile. "All the more reason to fight, easy experience for me!"

Reasoning with a child, am I stupid? They have no compassion. "Tch. So be it." I grumbled and gestured with my head for Droplet to step up.

"Go, Petal!" The trainer threw his pokèball on the ground.

Ah shit! Not a grass type! The pokèball opened and out popped a brown and cuddly creature on all fours. Chest fluff, a fluffy tail, long ears and and a cute snout. Yep, that's an Eevee. It even announced its name upon coming out.

"You named your Eevee after a plant?" I questioned his unorthodox naming.

"Yeah. I plan on evolving her into an elegant Leafeon!" He replied with a proud and excited look.

"Shallow." I commented.

The kid was taken aback. "What!? How is that shallow?"

"Because you got a pokèmon for its looks." Oh I know I'm a hypocrite, but I gotta throw some shade on him to upset confidence and train of thought. "Anyways, let's begin if you're that thirsty for a fight. Droplet! Water gun!"

"Petal! Protect!" The trainer shouted.

A ball of water unleashed by my Wooper smashed against a brown colored dome of energy. And the Eevee was left completely unharmed.

"Dude, what…" Moves like that exist? I'll have to look into it, could prove highly useful and from what I can see, it has a multipurpose.

"Tackle!" I heard the trainer order.

"Ah damn, Dodge!"

Unfortunately, Droplet wasn't nearly fast enough to get out of the way. The furball struck my Wooper with his head dead in the middle and sent him flying. Droplet skidded on the ground until he ended up by my feet. Dang, quite the hit he took. For a small Eevee, he sure hit hard. I checked with my pokèdex, the brown crap had an ability called 'Adaptability'. Abilities? I'll have to check it out later.

"You good?" I asked my downed monster. Droplet looked up at me with an unchanging smile and hopped up on his feet. Good, he wasn't done yet. Neither was I.

"Mud Shot!"

"Sand Attack!"

We ordered at the same time.

The Eevee was so much faster. He turned around and sprayed dirt on Droplet by digging his hind legs into the ground. The dirt clearly got in his eyes because every single mud ball missed the target.

"Petal, Tackle!" The kid ordered again and his Eevee charged Droplet.

Before I could say anything, my Wooper was sent flying through the gap in my legs. Crap! It's not looking good. I looked over my shoulder, Droplet was getting on his feet again, although with way more trouble.

"Having trouble?" The blonde kid crossed his arms and scoffed with a smile. "Figures. There's no place in the trainer world for old people."

I took out Droplets pokèball and re-called him. Sure, he could go on, but I need to think of a strategy. It's all up to my Kakuna now, hopefully he will do some damage.

"Calling back your Wooper already? Wow, you need a lot of training!" He continued to taunt me through a fit of demeaning giggles. "That or you're just really bad at this! Should've stayed in your home, old-timer."

Im fourteen for fucks sake. That little egotistical bastard. I'll show him. I called out Kakuna. But I didn't direct the pokèball beam on to the ground, I directed it on my palm. The brown hardshell materialized right in my arm. Payback time.

"Kakuna, use headbutt!" I threw my pokèmon with all of my might, right at the brown fur ball. Unorthodox, but it worked. Dumb thing didn't even dodge. And that loud crack when Kakunas head met the Eevees head. Jeez, I think I overdid it.

That hard shell of his really did a number on the kids pokèmon. I think his Eevee got a concussion from that. Poor thing started convulsing on the ground while squealing in a high pitched voice with its loose jaw dragging on the ground. Definitely did more damage than anticipated.

The kid stopped laughing and tried to piece together what just happened. One delayed reaction later, he ran up to his pokèmon with a horrified look on his face.

Imagine being a pokèmon, unable to move and talk. Then you get captured by some guy, and the first thing you do once you get out of the pokèball, is mentally scar a child and traumatize his bellowed pokèmon. What a cruel fate. Well then! Time to taunt the fucker.

"You know what they say, like pokèmon like trainer." I chuckled and pointed at the kneeling, sobbing child, "You gonna squeal and start kicking the ground too?"

He swiftly put his Eevee back in the pokèball. Yeah, a visit to the pokèmon center will be a necessity for him. "Now you made me really angry!" He snarled with tears trickling down his cheeks. Oooh! Righteous anger. Spoopy.

Either way, wouldn't be the first one I piss off during my trip. "Oooh, I'm scared. So, so, so scared." I retorted as sarcastically as possible with an eye roll. What is he going to do, call out a grass type against my water pokèmon? That sure would be some divine justice.

When he did call out his last pokèmon, I was just waiting for that jinx to happen. Alas, it wasn't a grass type. But a flying type, a Pidgey. He looked way bigger and stronger than the ones in this forest, probably nearing his evolution. Yeah, that's definitely had to be his starter.

"What kind of trainer starts out with a Pidgey?" I took a wild guess.

"What kind of trainer starts out with a useless Wooper?" He repeated what I said in a snappy, more insulting manner with clenched teeth. That was unnecessary, insulting my pokèmon.

Yet I can't blame him either. Classic kid insult tactics. "Oh, you're about to find out." I re-called Kakuna and sent out Droplet again.

And the battle was on. Water Guns, Gusts, Tackles and lots of dodging. Droplet used a Mud Shot, and to my nasty surprise, that Pidgey knew quick attack. It zipped past the hail of mud balls and struck Droplet right upside his head. I ordered for another Mud Shot, but the Pidgey escaped easily.

I gritted my teeth out of frustration and having lost my temper shouted, "Fucking camper! Come down here, try close range, pussy!"

With a childish shriek, the kid opposite to me covered his ears. Oh god, was he that immature that he still follows the 'no curse' rule set by his parents? He tried to draw me out by shouting gibberish. "LA LA LA!" He yelled repeatedly.

Wait. He's currently busy trying to hide himself from my inappropriate vocabulary. His pet is just hovering in the air. The stupid thing can't act on his own without commands!

So I let the kid have it. 'Bitch! Fuck! Cunt! Ass-dick!" You name it, I spat it. All in the effort to keep him from shouting out another name of attack.

Stupid child cried and shrieked in high pitched confusion as my verbal assault prevented him from issuing commands to his beast, all the while, I issued an attack order to my demon of water, who went apeshit with his water gun on the poor flying fucker.

The Pidgey panicked, probably called for his trainer to do something, but in the end, he got 'Wooped'. One wet and unconscious bird later, I claimed my victory.

I approached the kid for the customary trainer victory cash. Then I heard some strange noises. When I turned around, I found that Droplet was pumping water into the fainted Pidgeys mouth. I think he is trying to drown him. Eh, whatever.

I nudged the child with my shoe to tell him the fight was over. He peeked at me, then looked at battlefield and immediately stood up with an even more frightened expression. "Call back your Wooper!" He shrieked out of panic and horror.

I crossed my arms and shook my head. "Pay me first."

He took off his backpack and pulled few bills from there. He threw them right in my face and yelled, all red faced from crying and shrieking, "Take your stinking cash and call it back, NOW!"

"You know, with that attitude, I'm tempted not to." I responded as I pocketed the money, but in the end, complied. Used my pokèball to re-call Droplet. I think he might have actually drowned the Pidgey during our trainer exchange. Which means, it's time for me to dip. "Anyways, good luck getting to the pokècenter in the middle of a forest. Bye!" I turned on my heel, and left the crying kid who was trying to give CPR to his Pidgey.

Went through some bushes and denser forestry to lose him completely. When I couldn't hear his abominable screeching, I stopped for a rest. I also let out Droplet again, and we shared a victorious laugh. Actually, only I laughed. Droplet tried to return to the kid and finish the job.

All in all, I dominated the day. Well then, is this proof that I am on the way to the top? Has to be. My methods might be unorthodox, but I'm winning. For now. One more day till I get out of the Viridian forest. I wonder if I'll meet some cute girls on route 2? Only time and my stamina for walking will tell.

-End of chapter 2-


	3. Chapter 3

Finally! Route two! Yeah, new clothes are definitely in order. Maybe some sneakers, because tennis shoes, boy let me tell you, they're not designed for traversing long distances. And toilet paper. I had to shit in the bushes and use leaves to wipe my ass. And boy let me tell you, poison ivy is not the ideal ass wiper.

Still scratching my ass, I took a first step into route two. There were two paths separated by a huge strip of trees, acting like a wall. And much further ahead, I could see the Viridian City. From the geography lessons, I remember that it's a big one, surrounded by forests and greenery. It has a pokèmon gym too, but I ain't challenging that one yet.

I told Droplet to stay close. I don't trust people that much, and I could see quite a few trainers in the route. And we need money for supplies. Quite a lot too, because I have many things on my shopping list. It was time to get to robbing. I mean, fighting children by using pets and take their money. So pretty much the same thing.

We spent an hour scouting out the trainers with the weakest pokèmon on the left side of the road. There were quite a few of them that trained in the tall grass or battled one and other. Almost half of the route was teeming with beginners, mixed with mediocre trainers. Me and Droplet targeted the newbies and robbed them of their cash.

Pidgeys, Rattatas, Oddishes, Poliwags. There were a few Diglets, and we even duked it out against a few pokèmon from another region, Sentret and Trapinch. Latter of whom was really hard to bring down. Droplet became a little stronger, even learned a new move, Slam. He just pretty much uses his tail and whacks stuff with it. Looks quite strong because he buried that Trapinches head into the ground. One kid even paid me a hundred dollars after I took down his Rowlet. A truly exotic, Flying and Grass pokèmon from a region far, far away from Kanto.

By the early afternoon, we were six hundred dollars richer. Which should just be enough to cover all of my purchase needs and have some extra.

The rest of the route, I managed to slip by unchallenged most of the time, and when I got challenged, I acted really sad and lied about my pokèmon being sick. Surprisingly, it worked. The pity I received was massive. Hah, now I have another weapon to use against unsuspecting trainers. Although, that wasn't all a complete lie, Droplet was really tired after all the battles today. Even though his face didn't show it, the damage on him did.

I reached the city without any troubles. And just as I expected, it is as big as Pewter city. Nothing too out of the ordinary here as I was checking the city out. Except for all the trees that grew all over the city and nearby cliffs. Tons of people, few trainers here and there, lots of pokèmon roaming the streets with their trainers and owners.

I spotted a few high level trainers who were older, but still probably not my age. They were being followed by their pokèmon. All fully evolved and truly powerful. I had to walk a full circle around a threateningly looking Nidoking. And my hair was blown back and I nearly toppled over when a trainer landed right in front of me on his Pidgeot.

I said it once and I'll say it ten thousand times, kids should not have pokémon of such power. What happens when they figure out that it's not the government or the police that hold the most power, but them? Trainers, kids, teens, with beasts that cause earthquakes and spit beams of pure destruction.

As I was walking the streets of the city in search for a mall, I adjusted my belt. I hold my pokèballs with Droplet and Kakuna attached to it, so I twisted it around, so all my pokèballs ended up in front of me. I wouldn't like them getting snatched from my back. Mainly because pokèmon theft and scams are quite prominent last I checked the news.

Took me over two whole hours to find a shopping mall, mainly because the traffic here sucked even more than in Pewter city. I spent quite a bit of cash to equip myself. Comfortable sneakers for walking and running, brought, two of them. Warmer clothes, brought. Food rations for me, brought. Outdoors equipment, kettle, pan, knife, brought. Toilet paper and matches, brought, twice. Bigger backpack, brought. Now to head to a pokèstore and get things for my pokèmon.

Once I exited the mall, I saw some dark clouds rolling over the skies. Rain will definitely fall. But judging by the high temperature, it might even be a storm. Gonna have to bunker down until it passes. I knew that pokècenters offer free rooms for up to three days to trainers. And since this town is way less populated with traveling trainers due to the higher level gym, getting a room shouldn't be that hard.

Found a pokèstore one block away from the pokècenter. That's convenient. It got dry food for Droplet, made sure to purchase way more than needed. Two potions for health restoration, antidotes, burn and paralysis heals too and few basic pokèballs. Which left me with only twenty dollars. Damn, pokèmon related stuff is expensive. Hopefully I am correct about those free rooms in pokècenter. Also, I checked out the other, more stronger pokèballs. After all, I'm going to need the best to catch a legendary pokèmon. And those high rate pokèballs cost a fuckton. I better get some money, and quick.

I then located the pokècenter. It's pretty big building, with a nice lounge and even comfy chairs. First, I handed over Droplet for healing to nurse Joy. Second, I inquired about the rooms and they had a few free. Wanted to give a separate room for Droplet as a joke, although the nurse took it a bit seriously and told me that there's separate beds in the rooms for small to mediocre sized pokémon.

While my pokèmon were being cooked to health in the fancy machinery for healing, I looked around the pokècenters lounge. There were a couple of trainers hanging out here. All were definitely pros or at least experienced enough, I could see it. They were older than your average ten year old novice, yet not mature enough to be above my age. God I feel old. I saw how the rain started pouring behind the glass sliding doors. Good thing I came here in time. Good thing the storm didn't catch me while traversing Viridian forest.

My pokèmon was handed back to me in perfect health and shape. After that, I went for the payphones by the wall. I want to call Buttstank and talk to him about a few things. Mainly because I'm bored while the storm is raging outside and I don't have any friends to call. Which is why I'd like to have a conversation with someone once in a while. And these uptight, champion wannabe trainers aren't exactly the company I'm looking for.

I put some coins in the payphone and dialed Buttstank's number. After a few beeps, I heard a click. "Hey, Butt…Berkley! How you doing?"

"Why did you call me during work hours?" I heard a familiar voice over from coming from the other end. And it was slightly irritated.

"Wow. Not even a hello. And! I can't call my favorite scientist once I while?"

"I'm your favorite because you're going to get a lot of money out of me?"

"Yep." I admitted with no shame. Who in the world doesn't like a lot of money? You'd have to be insane not to like cash.

"...I'm hanging up."

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Come on! Don't you have a few moments? I have some things to tell you."

"Okay. For the one that carries my future on his shoulders, I'll spare a few minutes."

I told him a shortened version of my trip up to getting to Viridian city. Berkley told me that I shouldn't piss off any wild pokèmon by cooking their kind. They can smell the scent of burning pokèmon from a three hundred meters away. Hence the reason as to why I got assaulted in the morning.

"You caught a Kakuna?" He asked after I told him about my anticlimactic capture of the hardshell bug.

"Yeah."

"I believe I told you to get more pokèmon, not useless pokèmon."

"How is Kakuna weak? It evolves into a pretty badass pokèmon."

"No. Scyther and Scizor, Heracross…those pokèmon are 'badass' as you put it, because of their power. Kakuna's evolve into Beedrills. Yes, they're strong, but only in swarms. Alone, they're about as weak as newly hatched pokèmon. Basically, useless."

That made me feel a little irked. No pokèmon of mine will be called weak, or useless. No matter how they look, or what others say. Huh, it's strange how quickly I started to care for these fuckers. "Well then I'll have to find a way to make him strong, won't I?"

"You best, otherwise, I can forget about getting a legendary, and you can forget about your money." I could hear him getting more strict and serious over the phone. "As for the reports for any sightings, none have come in yet. You better use this time to strengthen your team as much as possible."

"Hey, on that note, how will I know when the information gets to me?"

"Your pokèdex will let out a signal. It will immediately display all the details that we acquired here at the lab. That being said, those sightings reach us quite some time after they happen, so I recommend that you immediately travel to the designated location."

"And what if the reports come from halfway across the region? How will I get there in time?"

"Then I suggest getting flying type pokèmon that could fly you there."

"Mmh, noted." Pidgey it is. Guess I'll be marching back to Viridian forest. Wait, maybe I could snag one when I get to Route one? I'll have to think about that one. "So what else is new?"

"I have been assigned to study a Nidoqueens labia. Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like."

Grossed out, but curious, I just had to ask. "Why exactly were you assigned with such a task?"

"Nidoqueen is incapable of breeding. Our professor dearest wants to know why and if we could somehow change that in the future."

"Nasty."

"Agreed." I could hear Berkleys voice shake. Yeah, studying a pokèmons vagina. Not exactly the ground breaking research he had hoped for.

"Wait. So you're not saddled with those stinky pokèmon anymore?"

"Yes. Not anymore. Why?"

"Oh no. Just asking is all." Guess I'll have to drop the nickname I made up for him.

"Right. Well, I have to go back to work now." His closing statement kind of ticked me off. "And catch a real pokèmon next time. Goodbye, for now." I hung up the phone with a sigh. I really can't blame him, his future is hinging on my success. But so does mine. I really don't want to scrub toilets for the rest of my life. Not a super appealing job for a married man. Speaking of marriage, time to find me a future baby mama.

During my call, many trainers have come to the pokècenter to hide from the storm. Some of them, female. And yes, I'll be honest, some girls were drenched in water. Drenched so much, that I could see the bras through their clothing. Yes, I have an eye for that. I brushed those bangs out of my eyes and put on a dashing smile.

Walked up to the first girl that caught my eye by the counter. Pretty cute, maybe a year younger than me. Twin pigtails, red hair, pretty butt, long legs. Cute shorts and a blouse tied with a big belt. I cleared my throat in preparation to put on a smooth performance and get her attention.

"Hey!"

"No."

"Okay."

Aaand, rejected. Yeah, she probably has guys coming after her left and right. No biggie, I'm used to it by now. Onto to the next. This one looked even older than the last, most likely my age. She sat on one of those comfy chairs that surrounded a big table. The girl looked quite beautiful, unlike yours truly here with gray hair and height that no man would envy. Long blonde hair, cute face, a red jacket and red snapback hat, tight shorts and knee high boots. Yum yum.

I nonchalantly dropped on a chair next to hers. "Sup. I'm Felix. Nice to meet you."

"Oh, hello there." The girl replied with a gentle smile. She didn't tell me her name. That's already a huge sign for lack of interest. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Been chatting up girls ever since I was seven. I know my craft. The art of getting rejected. Man, I suck at this.

"Crazy weather, huh?" I gestured with my head towards the glass doors. Rain was still raging outside and I could hear distant rumbling of thunder.

"Yes, it is." After that answer, she fell silent. Shit. Gotta keep the conversation flowing. Quick, Felix! Think of some bullshit. "I have a small weiner." Damn it!

She whipped her head around in surprise. "Excuse me?"

Moving faster than a ninja on cocaine, I pulled out sausage shaped cookies out of my bag. "Want one?" Nice save if I say so myself.

"No thank you." She declined politely. Okay, now that we broke the ice a little- "How long have you been a trainer for?" She asked all of a sudden.

Like my mom said, honesty will get you everywhere. "Three days."

"Aaaah…that's, lovely." Before I could open my mouth, she quickly got out of the chair and turned to leave in a hurry. "Well, I gotta go now. Good luck with your journey."

Fuck you, mom. And yeah, it's not that hard to understand why she departed so quickly. I'm no super pro like she expected. Onto the next!

I went through a couple of more girls, all with the same result. As you can see, it's not that easy to even establish a friendship with a girl, that's nothing to say about a romantic relationship. Adding these disappointing results to my list of failures, I retreated into my free room on the second floor.

When I came into my room and lied down on the bed, I set to thinking. And I really need to think about this now, because later will be too late. How do I make Kakuna evolve into a powerful pokèmon?

I thought, pondered, wondered and theorized while the rain hitting the windows kept distracting me. What makes a weakling, strong? You can't make someone who's inherently weak more powerful just with physical training.

No, it all comes from the mind. Then I remembered something. I'm not physically strong either. So when the time came to defend myself from the bullies in my class, I had nothing. Nothing but my anger. Rage turns even the most pathetic people into dangerous monsters. I am the living proof of that. So if the 'feelings' theory applies to humans, why couldn't it apply to pokèmon too?

Rage under the control of intelligence. An unstoppable combination. I will turn my future Beedrill into a flaming ball of wrath and make him control it with the precision of a surgeon. That or just let him rampage. But how do I make yet another, silent, emotionless pokèmon with the lack of movement, angry? No, I can definitely do it. My Kakuna will evolve into a powerful pokèmon, or he will suffer until he becomes strong. There will be no third option.

I took the pokèball containing Kakuna and called him out. Just as expected, a constantly stationary pokèmon, no movement, no facial expression changes, just an occasional blink from its big coal black eyes. I sat up on my bed and decided to have a little conversation with my buddy here before we begin his training.

"Alright, I know you can understand me, pokèmon." I bent over and picked him up so that we could be on the eye level. I looked at the bug right in his eyes as I spoke again, "Now remember the next words that I will say for the rest of your natural life: Rage will be your weapon against everything and everyone. You will use it, because you have no other option. Only with anger, your inherited weakness will be nullified."

I received no sign of Kakuna listening to me. Not even a blink. "If you forget what I said, you will never be strong. And if I know pokèmon, you care only for strength and victory."

After all, don't their 'friendship' grows with the trainer grow after each victory? Isn't that how some of the Eeevee's evolutions work? With great friendship, some evolve during different times of the day. Maybe that's a load of crap, but that's what I've been thought in school. Good thing I actually listened to what the teacher said.

Now, it is time to start making him angry. And believe me, I have plenty of ideas on how to turn him into the most pissed off bug ever. Since it looked like we will be stuck indoors for the remainder of the day, I decided to be a complete slob and lay in bed without doing anything at all. Well, not completely nothing. I checked the door and it had a lock from the inside. I recalled Kakuna into his pokèball, locked myself in and masturbated until evening. When time came to hit the hay, I had only one thing to take care of.

I called out Kakuna, grabbed him off the ground and carried him into the bathroom. Turned the lights on, lifted the toilet seat up and dropped him in there. "You will sleep here from now on every time we visit a town. Enjoy the shitter. Goodnight. " I turned off the toilet lights and shut the door.

I also let Droplet out. He of course just jumped in the little bed by the wall and stared holes into me until I laid down and passed out.

After we woke up, the storm was still raging outside. God damn, it's a good thing I made it to the town in time. Wouldn't wanna be some newbie beginner trainer caught in this hell storm.

I fed Droplet with the dry ass pokèmon food for breakfast. Tasted some myself out of curiosity. It tasted like bland cookies with a smidge of salt. I guess I could eat them in case I run out of normal food. I also pulled Kakuna out of the toilet and tried feeding him too. But the bug only stared at his bowl. Of course, he can't move.

So while I ate my breakfast, I observed how my pokèmon behaved during their breakfast. Well, Droplets breakfast. I think I'll have to feed Kakuna manually. As for how they interacted with each other, they didn't. Droplet didn't react at all to Kakuna, or maybe he did. His face still didn't change no matter what. He didn't even make sounds, or any sound for that matter. Normally, pokèmon would repeat their name when they speak, it's like their own unique language. But my Wooper didn't even do that. I think he might be mute.

The way I fed Kakuna was very simple. I dropped him in the sink and let the tap water run on his face, where I assume his mouth is. Did that for thirty seconds exactly, then I took him out.

Fuck, it's so hot in the damn room. Fuck Spring time and it's shitty weather. I opened the door to let some air, and put Kakuna by the door to hold it open. Didn't go for the window, because it was still pouring heavily outside and I didn't want to screw up the free room.

I heard someone walking in the hallway. A trainer was about to enter one of the rooms opposite to mine when he spotted the open door in mine. "You're using your Kakuna as a doorstop?" He pointed at me and my pokèmon.

"Yep." I nodded and flashed the brownshell a smile, "Hear that, bug? You're finally useful for something."

And it appeared that I had caught this guy's attention with wait I said because he let go his rooms door handle and faced me fully with a slight frown. "For how long have you been calling your pokèmon like that? You should really give him a name. Aren't you experienced enough with training to know that naming your pokèmon helps you forge a stronger bond?"

My smile dropped faster than my boner upon hearing my family walking up the stairs. See what I mean by calling them uptight wannabe champions? Like I wouldn't know one of the most basic customs of training that existed even before pokèballs were a thing. I pushed Kakuna from the door and shut it. Fuck sakes those guys.

"Just so you know, I won't give you a proper name until you evolve. And you won't evolve until I deem it necessary." I told my bug pokèmon. That being said, I'll need to think of something good when he does.

Now with some free time at my disposal, I decided to check out those so called 'abilities' with my pokèdex. I called out droplet and set to checking on the pokèdex by directing it at the two. Droplet has 'Water Absorb' ability and the nature of 'serious'. Apparently, that ability of his is no joke. Water, heals him. If he gets struck by a water attack, or gets simple water on him, it will restore his health. I already came up with seven different ways to abuse his ability to the maximum.

Kakuna had a nature of 'hasty' and an ability called 'Shed Skin'. Something to do with status effects and what not. Pretty much worthless in a battle. On that note, I hope it won't take long for him to evolve when I actually make him battle for experience.

Just out of sheer curiosity, I directed the pokèdex at me. Statuses, levels, species and even the picture returned an error. That seemed about right. With my check of my pokèmon done, I was about to put them back in the pokèball and rub one out again. Then I noticed a distinct lack of raining outside. Poked my head through the window and found myself breathing a pleasantly chilly morning air, with not a single drop of rain falling from the clearing out skies. Fuck yes, it is time to move out.

I gathered up my things, told Droplet to follow close and set out. Only after I approached Viridian city limits did I notice, I forgot Kakuna back at the pokècenter. Two hours spent going back and forth for one pokèmon that can't even eat. I didn't put him back in the pokèball, thinking it would be better to let him breathe a little. So I now had to two pokèmon out. As for my next destination, Route one and then, Pallet town. I initially planned on cutting through route two, but there's way too many trainers there. Route one should have lesser experienced newbies. Basically, plenty of people to rob of their money.

The ground and the road itself was muddy after the rain, puddles of water were everywhere. Droplet of course had to go through all of them because water pokèmon liked them, for some reason. Carrying my bug pokèmon got tiresome after an hour. Plus, his shell felt hot to the touch. So I dropped Kakuna on the ground and kicked him. He rolled forward. Nice. Way more efficient and faster than carrying both of them. He got very muddy, but each puddle served as a cold bath.

Soon enough, the thick forestry of Viridian area began to slowly thin out with each hour traveled.

My feet didn't hurt as much from walking like the last time. Those new shoes really made a huge difference. I began encountering trainers, thankfully, they were just passing by. Most were beginners, like me. And you can bet I received looks for how I made my Kakuna travel.

I even challenged some of those kids to duel. They were quite green and weak, so Droplet didn't get much experience, top it all off, I sent most of them running back to Pallet town in search for a pokècenter because they only had one pokémon. And it's quite a distance away from where we are, so that made it even more funny.

I made Kakuna stand and observe each and every battle. And I decided to do that all the time so that he could learn for future reference. By the time that shell cracks, he should be nigh unstoppable. Then again, I have to keep in mind that it's all just half assed assumptions. This could totally not work out at all. No, it will. I can't have any doubts. They're my pokèmon, only with unyielding trust and my genius will we become strong enough to bag a legendary.

"You have to understand, Kakuna. All of this is for your own sake." I talked to my bug while Droplet was busy pounding a kids Bulbasaur into the ground. "It is said that Beedrills are only strong in swarms. Bullshit." I cut off for a second to order a Mud Shot. That child trainer must've only recently gotten his Bulbasaur as a starter.

"I will turn you into an unstoppable warrior. People will shit themselves at the sight of you." And kaboom! Down goes the first Grass type we fight. I don't know what I was afraid of when fighting a grass type. On my way to get the customary pay from the trainer, I 'accidentally' knocked over Kakuna and he fell face first into the mud. "Whoops." Eh, I'll get him later.

The further we traveled, the more the road became wavy, going up and down with curved turns. Grassy hills replaced forests, with only a few occasional trees dotting the landscape. The sunset was approaching, so I decided to make a camp. We spent half an hour traveling away from the road, during which I had to carry Kakuna, because kicking him up the hill is just too much work. I'm not dumb enough to camp out by the road. Who the fuck knows what kind of people traverse it at night.

We found a pretty high hill so I set my camp for the night. There were patches of growing trees here and there. I broke off some branches and set up a campfire. The grass managed to dry out during the sunny day after the storm, so I put down my sleeping bag by the fire. We had our breakfast, well, me and Droplet. I poured water on Kakunas face again in an attempt to feed him.

To my surprise, from the hill that we are camping on, I could see another man made fire in the bright night. Then another one lit up. And another. They continued popping up all around us. I counted around twenty, or at least, that's how much I could spot from where we set up camp. Those campfires were like shining stars that descended on the earth. Truly a magnificent sight under the moon and the stars. If only I had a girl by my side to share this with. One can only dream I suppose.

Closest campfires carried the voices of multiple people laughing and quite a few pokèmon noises. It's amazing, even all the way here, in what is considered a 'beginner' route, there were so many trainers. Under normal circumstances, I would say that with so many people around, it at least won't feel lonely and if I get jumped by wild pokèmon again, I could call for help. But, they are people, which means, potential thieves. I put my pokèballs underneath the sleeping bag and told Droplet to wake me up in case someone comes close to our camp at night.

And with my eyes closed, I concluded another day of my journey. All things considered, it's going smoothly so far which I hope will remain so for the remainder of my trip.

-End of chapter 3-


	4. Chapter 4

Droplet fainted. He took a nasty Karate Chop from this one kids Mankey. I didn't expect him to have such a strong pokèmon, but alas, I was proven wrong. That was his only pokémon, so all the experience from the dueling gets delivered straight to his singular pet. But that didn't matter to me, we were really close to Pallet town after a day's travel, so the pokècenter is pretty close.

Also, I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but Droplet did fight a ton of pokèmon throughout the day, that's why he lost. Probably. We challenged every single newbie trainer we came across. Filled our pockets with quite a few dollars from those battles, but at a cost of losing to this kid right here with his steroid powered Mankey.

Even if the trainer rules state that you have to hand over half of your cash, I simply lied and gave the trainer fifty bucks out my five hundred earned. It's amazing, the things you can get away with if you're good at bullshitting. After packing my fainted Wooper, I traveled towards Pallet town in a power-walk. Night was approaching, and my sole defense was out cold.

Managed to reach the Pallet town with no problems. It was an above average town in terms of size, built on scarce hills that barely had any trees. Further from the town, I could see the ocean opening up in a grand scenery of blue. That's my next destination, after I cross it, Cinnabar Island will be my first gym battle.

As for what I did when I came into town, headed straight for the pokècenter and got Droplet fixed up. Nurse Joy didn't give him back immediately because she told me he needed to rest for the night. Quite understandable.

Slept in the free room provided by the pokècenter again. And no, you can't spend weeks in those. After two days, you get thrown out on your ass. Moving on, nothing really interesting happened this night. Slept like a baby, Kakuna slept in the toilet again, and Droplet was napping downstairs. The morning was kinda fucked because the center ran out of warm water so I showered with freezing one. That made my balls shrivel up like lost Bulbasaur in a desert.

The analogy by the way, is very real. Stupid fucking trainers release pokèmon outside of their habitat and the poor bastards either die because of elements, or other wild pokèmon. Like grass pokèmon in deserts. Water pokèmon in water devoid climates. Fire pokèmon in tiny islands. It's just horrible to think how much life stupidity can claim.

Anyways, since Droplet needed to rest for the day, I decided to check out Pallet town. And by that I mean sit outside and do fuck all. I poked Kakuna with a stick for two hours before I got hungry. Then we found ourselves a cheap diner with outdoors seats under these nice umbrellas that gave us some shade. I brought some walnuts and a big bottle of water while waiting for the waitress to come take my order.

I was using Kakuna as a nutcracker. Literally held him upside down and used his hard head as a hammer to crack open the nuts. "Mmh, these are good. Droplet, want one?"

I shoved one in his mouth regardless. I wonder if I can feed my Kakuna with these. He doesn't look like he has a mouth with that shell encasing his entire body. Maybe I should buy a crowbar and try to open up his face and feed him like that?

"What are you doing?" A question came from my left, just before I could smash open another nut. A voice of a young female. My boner senses told me she's way younger than me. Initiate girl repellent mode: be myself.

"What do you think? I'm eating." I stated like it was the most obvious thing ever. Turned around, found a ten year old girl standing by my table with a scowl. Obviously a pokèmon trainer. Shorter than me, so that's already a minus. Red skirt, white blouse, red shoes, red hair tied in a ponytail, golden eyes. Seriously, what's with the red color?

A pokèmon was following her, an orange feathery thing on two bird legs, two yellow wings, a beak and three yellow feathers on top of its head. Never seen a pokémon like that in this region. Must be from a different one then. That or rich parents bought it for her.

"I can see that. I'm asking, what do you think you're doing to this poor pokèmon!" She pointed her finger at my Kakuna. I could see that righteousness and displeasure in her upset gaze.

"I am-" I paused and smashed open a walnut with Kakuna's head, "-using the available options provided to me."

"You can't treat your pokèmon like that!" She angrily hissed at me, completely ignoring my elaborate reply. Her grounded bird chirped as if agreeing. Ah goodie, another know it all trainer, with noble intentions.

"I can, and I will." I threw the opened nut in my mouth. "Anyways, I think your kindergarten teacher is looking for you." It was my non-direct way saying 'take a hike'.

Lifted my Kakuna to smash open another walnut. However, the nosey child had other plans. She grabbed my pokèmon from my hands. Excuse me cunt, I'm eating here. "As a pokèmon trainer, I will not allow you to hurt these magnificent creatures!"

So it's going to be like that, huh? I nudged my Wooper into action, "Droplet, combat maneuver zero three: nibble the titty."

My water beast jumped at the girl and attached himself to one of her breasts. The mad pokèmon actually did it. Starters for the win!

The red haired girl dropped Kaukuna and started squealing and running in circles, trying to take my Wooper off of her. Her fire pokèmon ran back and forth after her while squawking too. Other people by the tables started looking in our direction. Yeah, it is quite a scene. I leaned on my chair and observed the circus.

Unfortunately, the show ended when girl tripped on my Kakuna and fell on her back. "Aight Droplet, you had your fun." Said to my water pokèmon. He released her breast and returned to me. Droplet was nice enough to roll over Kakuna to our side too. I'm starting to love my team.

From where he was laying, I used Kakuna as a footstool and waited for the girl and her concerned fire pokèmon to get back up. You can bet that I have the biggest shit eating grin ever. Sure did teach her not to mess with other people's pokèmon.

Staggering, clutching her sore breast and snorting like an enraged Tauros, the girl stomped over to my table again. Oh boy, this is far from over. "What is wrong with you!?" She slammed her hand down on the table and shouted.

"Ay, you took my bug, you little snot nosed thief. I did what I had to do." I explained calmly with a shrug.

People were watching the circus performance of hers, but now they're gathering around our table. God fucking damn it. What is this? A league battle?

"I wasn't stealing her…him! I was just going to take him off your hands because you look like you don't even need him!" She walked around the table and kicked off my legs from Kakuna. Those sharp toed shoes hurt.

For fucks sake. What is up with people butting into other people's business? Seriously! Do I walk around and put my nose into every little thing I don't like? No, I don't. "You should follow smart trainers example and mind your goddamn business." I could feel my frown turing deeper by the second.

"And I want you not to treat your pokèmon like tools or garbage! They're sentient, they have feelings!" She snapped back hotly. Alright, this is getting ridiculous.

"And that's exactly why I will treat **my** pokèmon how **I** see fit."

"Alright, you're not going to treat this little guy nicely?"

"When **I** want to." I could not have spoken more clearly. Get the message already, bitch.

The girl inhaled deeply, as if trying to restrain her anger and irritation. She had a calm look on her face when she exhaled and opened her eyes again. "Fine then. We will do this the old fashioned way. I challenge you to a pokèmon duel. If I win, you will hand over all your pokèmon to me and quit being a trainer."

Ooh, stakes are definitely high. I would definitely be pissed off if wasn't for the fact that she's ten. Some people and beginner trainers who were listening to us argue got their interest piqued even more. Small groups began forming around us. Great, I managed to attract attention, the unwanted kind.

As for the issued challenge. I glanced at her belt, one pokèball. Glanced at her feathery chirping fuck with beady eyes, smaller than Droplet, must be really weak.

I took the water bottle off my table, opened it and squeezed the plastic while pointing it at her pokèmon. The water squirted in a straight line, right in the birds face and it dropped on the ground and started thrashing and squawking. "I win." I stated and put the lid back on. "God damn fucking kids."

That girl didn't even understand what happened at first. That confusion was clear as day on her face. She then sighed in defeat and picked up her panicking pokémon.

I heard many disappointed murmurs and sighs from the people as they began leaving. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you disperse a crowd.

I turned my attention back to my walnuts, but couldn't ignore that heated glare of hers on the back of my head. "What is it now?"

"You're just going to eat while your pokèmon starve?"

Oh fucking shit. How annoying this little cunt can get? "I fed my Wooper already."

"What about him? Aren't going to feed him for all the nasty things you've been doing to this poor pokèmon?" She gestured at my Kakuna.

"Wait, you can feed this thing? Oh shit! I just been throwing him in the sink and pouring water into what I assume is his mouth. Hahaaa, my bad." She probably thinks I'm joking. I'm not. That deep glare and the way she was covering herself with her shaking pokèmon, maybe she doesn't think I'm joking. She definitely thinks of me as someone dangerous.

Well, it's obvious she won't piss off, for some magical reason that I cannot begin to comprehend. Might as well try and form a cohesive conversation. "Tell you what, I'll buy you something from the menu and maybe you could tell me how to feed this bug in exchange?" She's a trainer, maybe bringing pokèmon into this will get us talking.

The girl stayed silent for a few seconds, then reluctantly sat down on the chair opposite of mine. "I want a milkshake." She grumbled while petting the ruffled feathers of her pokémon.

"Gotcha." Man, sure is taking them a while to come and get my order. Oh yeah! I forgot to ask her name. "What's your name by the way?"

"Liliana."

Now that I got her name, I also introduced myself. It shouldn't be that hard for us to-

"These waiters sure are taking their precious time. I'll have to talk to the manager." Liliana grunted in irritation.

Her parents should've named her Jessica. Or Karen. Anyways, my companion told me that Kakuna's have a mouth underneath their shell on the face. And then, we stayed silent and waited for the waiter. I flicked the walnut shell at her constantly scowling face. "Don't frown, you'll grow wrinkles."

"Jerk."

"Well, that's what I'm known for."

The waitress had finally shown herself. Only took us five long minutes of awkward silence.

"I'd like two, no, three milkshakes. And I have a special request. Make the third milkshake as spicy hot and disgusting as you can. Spit in it if you have to." The waitress looked at me weirdly, but didn't question it. I glanced at Lilliana, who still had her arms crossed and looking away from me with a scowl. "And some ice for the ladies boob."

She glared at me immediately and hissed, "Shut up!"

"Okay, will that be all?" The waitress asked while writing down my order.

Ignoring the scornful looks I was receiving from my table acquaintance, I checked the waitress out. She had a nice figure. Might as well try. "I'll also take your number for a side dish."

The waitress rolled her eyes and scoffed at me before leaving us.

"Lame." The trainer commented with ice lacing her voice.

"I don't understand-"

"Maybe she rejected you because you smell like you don't believe in showering?"

Snarky little cunt. "Petty much?"

"Ye."

Our order arrived relatively quickly. After the anticlimactic battle, many people cleared out from the diner, that's probably why. The third milkshake was for my Kakuna. And good lord I could smell the reeking, burning stench from that mess of a snack. "Enjoy." I said in an overly sweet tone. I shoved the straw in his mouth hole and made him drink the whole thing.

Meanwhile, Lilliana stared at me with her mouth agape and eyes wide as moon. She tried to say something but found herself unable due to utter shock. It was probably because of how I was treating Kakuna. Eventually, she found her voice. "Y-y-you're horrible! Evil! Villainous!"

"That sounds like someone I know." While sipping on my milkshake, I decided to make some conversation. "Sooo, your pokémon is not of this region. I take it you're not from here?"

"Yes. I'm from Hoen originally. Came here to live with my grandparents." Lilliana replied and smiled, "My mother is a gym leader. Flannery, I'm sure you have heard of her. She's best leader ever." She spoke with evident pride in her voice.

"I have not." I shot back immediately. I couldn't give two shits about her flexing on me with her mommy. "Good gym leader? Possible. Good mom? Fuck no. I mean, no good parent would send their kid across two regions to live with relatives." Whoops, did I just say that out loud? :^)

My bold words must've pissed her off because she became even more broody. In the interest of not wanting to spend my relaxation time in the presence of a silent, angry dwarf, I prodded her for more chatting. "So, where are you heading?"

"Cinnabar Island. I want to take on the gym leader there and prove that I am the best fire type trainer of this region."

I nearly choked on my milk juice. Cinnabar gym leader? With one, inexperienced pokémon? Lost her damn fucking marbels this girl. She'll get slaughtered before she even reaches the door of the gym. "Ahem. You only have one pokèmon. And it looks like a fire type." Yeah, it would also be fire versus fire, cancels out.

"Yes, I'm aware. We'll be fine."

"Yeah, but you have one, singular, inexperienced pokèmon. See what I'm getting at?" I spoke slowly, hoping that she will catch on.

"Me and Yri will be fine." She repeated in a more stern voice and her fire pokèmon chirped in agreement. Being determined is good and all, but something tells me she will soon receive a fat reality check.

"Anyways, I'm also heading to Cinnabar Island."

"You? Fighting a gym leader? With the way you treat pokémon, I will be surprised if you manage to get to the island in one piece."

"We'll see." We finished our milkshakes in relative silence. I force fed the nasty concoction to my Kakuna down to the last drop and watched him shake and vibrate. Oh yeah, he hated that one. Then the waitress brought our bill.

"Well?" Lilliana looked at the bill then at me. "What are you waiting for?"

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently, trying to contain my smile as much as possible.

"What do I mean? You said you will buy-"

"I don't have any money."

"..."

Our table went silent. The hot waitress sighed and told us to come with her. Oh boy, now I done it. Hue hue hue.

We had to work off the bill by cleaning dishes in the kitchen. That lie was legendary. I was laughing the entire time while the Miss Panties in a twist cursed me out and internally raged because she couldn't properly clean the dishes. That happens when you're pampered for all of your life. "How can you fail at being a woman in your natural habitat?" Earned myself a face full of soap with that comment, but it was so worth it. Droplet really helped in cleaning them up. While Lilliana kept complaining about how so much water will damage her skin.

"With that much makeup, you could stand to water yourself more, desert face." She flicked her soapy wrists at me and some got in my pupils. Ahhh! Soap in my eyes! The nerve of this bitch!

Two hours later we were released from our kitchen duty. "Well, that happened." I said to myself while walking down a grassy hill road to the Pallet Town center. From there, I'll ask around for directions on how to get to Cinnabar Island. Perhaps there's a ferry, or maybe I could rent out a boat.

"I hate you." A young girls voice startled me. Lilliana and her feathery chicken. Following after me.

"Oh, you're still here." I remarked. "Well, damn right you do. Next time, don't question my training methods. Got it?"

"How is treating your pokèmon like garbage a training method!?" She replied hotly.

"Droplet." My water pokèmon splashed some water on her face. "Like I told you, don't question it." She didn't say anything else after wiping her face dry. "So why are you following me?"

"I'm heading to the docks. Remember? Cinnabar island?"

"Pallet Town has a docking area?" So much for geography lessons. Useless. "How far away?"

"Why should I tell you?" She was being stubborn now, probably wants to cause some damage as a way of getting back at me.

"Because do you really want me following you around?" I said in a creepy voice. "Remember what happened when you tried to take my pokèmon?"

"I wish I couldn't remember." Lilliana said in a tired, defeated sigh. We finally reached the town center. There was a nice fountain in the middle, surrounded by taller buildings and few benches. "Half a days travel from the town. Right by the beach." She finally spilled the berries. Alright, I could make it there by nightfall.

We stopped by the fountain, facing the street that lead towards the ocean. Guess this is goodbye. Hopefully, forever. "Alright, I'm going to head that way." I pointed at the street.

"And I will wait for a day so that you get ahead and we never meet up again."

"Smart girl! Okay, gooby-"

"Oi! You two!" Heard someone holler. Oh damn. What now? We were approached by a kid, most likely ten, perhaps eleven years old. Brown spiked up hair, a bandaid over his nose, blue eyes. Dressed in a shirt with a Charizard logo and short shorts. Looked like a confident little shit. Must be a rookie trainer.

"You're the kids who were making a scene earlier. Did you two make up?" Kid? Me? This bastard must be blind.

"Yeah, we're pretty much husband and wife now. What's up?"

"Well, me and my friend, Oakley, want to do a duo-battle, but-" He pointed his thumb over the shoulder. Saw another kid waving at us by the fountain. A girl in a fancy dress. "-there's only really weak beginners here. Not too many options of training."

Ah, I see. Here it comes-

"I was thinking, since you two were arguing so heatedly about pokémon, you don't sound or look like beginners. Maybe you two would like to battle us? A double battle, to be precise."

Yep. Knew it. Man, I don't have time for this. I gotta get to Cinnabar Island and drown some fire pokèmon. "I refuse. I have business to tend to and-"

"You're on!" Lilliana interrupted me with a passionate acceptance of the challenge. Excuse me, bitch? What part of me being busy you don't understand?

"Ugh, Karen. Sidebar." I pulled her to the side for a small chat, while the kid went to get his friend.

"What is it?" She huffed in irritation. Cleary, she's itching for a fight with that baby pokèmon of hers.

"I don't want to be that guy, but I seriously don't want to fight those two, nor do I have the time." Oh I had all the time in the world, but I seriously want to hurry up and get some experience for my pokèmon before I get the fated notification on my pokèdex.

"Then go if you want to! I will fight them one versus two." She replied hotly and went a little further away from the fountain in the more open space of the center. "Coward!" She threw the remark over her shoulder.

Two on one. They stood on opposite sides of the center. Our challengers friend turned out to be a girl no older than Lillian. Raven hair and an expensive looking outdoors dress. She also wore a few golden bracelets stacked on one and other. She's gotta be loaded! Know what? I'll play along with them.

I joined Lillian and ordered Droplet to take the stage next to her chicken pokèmon. Latter of whom shied away from my Wooper. It must have a natural dislike for water.

Lillian glanced at me with a raised eyebrow, "You're not going to run?"

"Hell no." I shot back, equally as ready to throw down. "See all that expensive shit all over his friend? She's rich!"

"That's why you chose to battle? For money?"

"Why the fuck else?"

"Stop cursing!"

"Fuck you."

"I was beginning to think that we will have to duel her one on two!" The kid with a charizard logo spoke up from the other side center. "It definitely wouldn't have been fun for us!"

"Why would it be fun? Look at her pokèmon. It's a baby. Trashing her alone would be same as squishing a grape." The raven haired girl added in an uptight tone. "No satisfaction or glory."

Literally saw a vein pop out on Liliana's head. She gritted her teeth out of anger and replied, "You got some nerve to talk like that to me." She ordered her fire chicken, Yri, to prepare for combat. "Let's see if you can back it up with your strength."

The rich one sent out a Bulbasaur. Shit. Okay, don't panic, Lillian's fire chicken can handle it. I spoke too soon. The hyper active kid sent out a Pikachu. That ain't good. Two type effective pokèmon against mine. I really don't want Droplet to get face rolled twice in a day, but I guess there's no other choice.

Both pokèmon look highly confident as their trainers. Especially Pikachu. I hate that smug grin of the electric rat. Makes me want to straight up kick his face in.

"Yo, I'll cover you, take out that vegetable first." I said to Lillian quickly.

"Don't you give me orders! I know what I'm doing." She shot me down. What a stubborn fuck.

Guess I'm on my own now. Okay, no problem.

The battle had begun. Standard attacks were thrown. Mud shot and Water Gun in an attempt to hold off that electric rat. As you can guess, didn't work. That yellow crap is very fast.

So I switched targets. Attempted a Pound on the Bulbasaur. Didn't really work, brown haired dick was waiting to make a move.

Pikachu got in the way and electrocuted Droplet just before he could reach that plant. The attack was Volt Tackle. Came in like a fucking bullet train and sent my water monster skidding. Meanwhile, Lillian was busy doing fuck all.

Her chicken couldn't counter attack because the Bulbasaur was sending wave after wave of Razor Leaves, thus keeping her, him…it, on the move. Any Ember attack that Yri managed to let out was easily blown off with a Vine Whip. That fire pokèmon was way too under-leveled.

"Droplet, you good over there?" I hollered to my pokèmon, who just now came to a screeching halt. He hopped on his feet with the same expressionless mask of a smile. He took damage, but didn't look critical yet. "Great."

Okay, I admit, before, I didn't notice it, but my starter is slow. Way too slow. And this match-up outright sucks. A fast, type advantageous rat that's definitely stronger than I expected against my slow, weak, type disadvantageous starter.

Our battle, once again, attracted attention. **I attracted attention. **Because two type advantageous pokèmon were fighting mine, people stopped to watch our battle in small crowds. Regardless, I told Droplet to try and land a Mud Shot. That Pikachu kept dodging it so easily and firing back small Shockwaves which Droplet only managed to dodge the first one. Two already landed on him. That kid has a stronger move, but he's not using it. Sadistic, or stupidly overconfident, I wouldn't know. Point is, we are getting fucked up the anal cavity with a sandpaper dildo and I don't like it.

A quick glance over to the other side told me that Lillian and Iry finally got into the fast rhythm of dodging and firing attacks. They started doing tradeoffs, an Ember for a minor Wine Whip, Sand-Attack for a scratch from Razor Leaf. She had to take damage in order to deliver damage due to the obvious level gap between the two opposing pokèmon. Lillian knew that, otherwise, she would've been TKO'd by now. It was actually admirable how calm, controlled and well timed she was being in such a pressured, skill against level duel.

Certainly didn't expect that from a beginner trainer. I guess having a gym leader mommy paid off for her. Now, if only her attitude was as good as her battling skills.

Outcome of her battle is unknown, but I do know what will happen if my Wooper bites the dust. They'll tag team her. Gotta say, that outcome is the most likely, because Droplet can't measure up his aim against Pikachu's speed.

"Droplet, hold Mud Shot on standby." If he can't aim the attack proper, I'll do it for him. Droplets cheeks bloated and he awaited for my command.

"Quick attack!" The kid shouted. Really? How stupid can he be?

The yellow menace bolted for Droplet at insane speed, occasionally hopping side to side to throw off the path of his charge. I kept my eyes peeled and my tongue sharp. As soon as that Pikachu lined up to strike Droplet, I yelled, "Fire!"

The rat closed the distance with a zooming straightforward leap. He was forcefully ripped from his momentum by taking the most delicious concentrated blast of mud in his entire life.

Yeah, how does that taste, bitch? It sure wiped that grin off its face. When it stood up, the pokèmon was pissed. Didn't look that damaged though. And I don't think they'll fall for 'wait and blast' tactic again. I'll have to think of something else or-

"Stunt spore." The female opponent of Lillian ordered, surprising my partner and me. In that single second, I thought, "_Man, I need to shit."_

I saw the green vegetable expel a cloud of orange dust from it's bulb. It engulfed Iry. After the cloud cleared out, the fire chicken got locked in place and wouldn't budge, despite Lillian's orders to attack or even move. Which is catastrophic for me, because this means the end of the battle and no cash.

Lillian's pokémon is the only one that can take out the grass fag, with a chance of taking down the Pikachu too. Therefore, there's only one thing left to do, "Droplet, protect the chicken thing! Hurry!" I must interfere long enough for the paralysis to wear off. My pokèmon ran to get in front of Lillian's pokémon, but it looks like he won't get there in time.

The two kids on the other side looked at each other and nodded. They simultaneously pointed their fingers at Lillian's pokèmon,

"Wine Whip!"

"Volt Tackle!"

So they're taking down the one who poses them the most danger by any means necessary. Fuck. Two green wines and a rat engulfed in lightning barreled at the paralyzed fire pokèmon. Droplet was still nowhere near close enough to save Iry. Game over.

"Aim for the other one!"

"To your left, Bolt!"

Wat.

Both attacks slammed into my pokèmon and sent him flying across the air. Words could not describe my and Lillian's surprise. I dropped my guard and these ravenous assholes capitalized on it. Commendable.

Although, it didn't play out how they expected. I saw it. Droplet turned on one leg and swung with his tail at the point of impact. He used Pound on the turning point to soften the blow. What a fucking champion.

Droplet smacked on the pavement. Occasional twitch of his hurt tail told me that he's still conscious. But he did take a lot of damage. I don't think that he'll be able to continue despite the amazing block. And judging from Lillian's saddened expression, she knew that too. With her being the only one left standing, we pretty much lost.

Her pokèmon, Iry, was finally able to move again, but it hardly matters now. It took Lillian all she had in her skill repertoire just to hold the Bulbasaur off. With two against one, it's absolutely over.

"Well, I can't say this hasn't been fun. A little bit on the boring side dare I say." Oakley sighed, her posture relaxing with a smug grin, much like the one on her pokèmon. "But I believe we're done with you two, right, Kris?"

"Yeah…you guys lost." Kris nodded as if he was all knowing master. "It was a pretty good battle though."

Can't believe I lost my chance to get cash from that walking sack of money. Lillian looked even more glum. Knowing that her loss is imminent must suck.

"Well, let's get this over with." My battle partner suddenly lightened up. Wow, quick recovery. Nice. "But, just because my useless friend over here lost, that doesn't mean I'll lay down and surrender."

Wow, talk about a low blow. I'll get her back for this. For now however, I'll step back and observe her downfall and rub it in before I leave.

Before I could leave however, the rich-whatever-girl looked me dead in the eyes, but spoke to Kris instead, "Remember what I told you before? Never own low-tier pokèmon. They're nothing but disappointment anyway."

Did she just…I felt anger swell within my chest. Blood boil, anus pucker, teeth clench. Yeah, I'm triggered. Bitch just unleashed the Kraken. Oh no wait, I just got a rage boner. That's how pissed I am! "….**It's fucking on**."

"Droplet, on your feet! That is an order!" I commanded. He can rest _after_ utter carnage has been committed.

Slowly and very painfully, my water beast managed to haul himself up. He's on his last legs. Good, he will fight harder. Lillian was giving me a questioning look, as did the rest of the people observing the fight, most were even upset at me for pushing my pokèmon to fight. The two kids were also weirded out. Good, now they now who's wrath they'll suffer.

"The fight is far from finished, get ready, bitch!" I pointed my thumb towards the ground while addressing Oakley, "You are going down!"

"Lillian, your chicken, does it know tackle?" I immediately ask while ushering Droplet to take the stage again.

"Yeah?"

"We're going to nuke those bastards."

"Uuuhg, okay, I guess we continue." Kris reluctantly said and the battle resumed.

This time, I don't intend to play around. "What do you mean by 'nuke' exactly?" Lillian asked me before first attacks were thrown.

"Get Yri to tackle my pokèmon when I tell you to. Until then, focus on not getting whooped. Got that?"

"O-okay?"

"Shockwave!" I heard Kris order. The fight was back on. But unlike last time, I participated too.

I ran into the field of combat, and I performed a sliding tackle, knocking Droplet out of harm's way. A line of crackling electricity sailed right past my face. Holy shit that was dangerous.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Kris shouted at me.

"Fair? We're fighting in a street, dumbass!" I said as I stood up. Lillian couldn't even form a cohesive words after my stunt, same could be said about the rich girl.

"Ah…wine whip!"

"Shockwave, again!"

Oh shit, that's our cue. I looked at Lillian and nodded. She got the signal, thank god. "Yri, tackle Droplet!" She ordered, clearly unsure as to what I was up to.

Even her chicken was weirded out, but complied with the order. Before the attacks could reach our pokèmon, Yri was on the move.

"Droplet! Jump!" He hopped in the air. Yri tackled my pokèmon head against feet and sent him flying in the air. He most likely kicked off of her too because holy shit, he flew high.

Unfortunately, that left Lillian's pokèmon completely open to the two attacks. Poor chicken took a good double blow, but didn't faint.

As for my beast, he took off like a fucking rocket. High above the multi store buildings in the Pallet town square. Everyone present looked into the sky, trying to spot the tiny dot that was my Wooper.

"Make it rain mud!" I yelled as hard as I could so he could hear me.

Two seconds later, anxiety set in because I was beginning to think he might not have heard me. From the sky, balls of mud started striking the paved ground like fucking comets. The pull of gravity combined with the launch velocity increased the mud ball's speed to absolute insanity. I could only see brown streaks in the air as they bombarded the whole battlefield along with the two opposing pokémon. They fainted before they could even start wailing in pain. It's majestic as it is brutal.

No one could comprehend what happened for a few moments. But it was clear as day, we won. Unless the two kids had more pokèmon. In which case, we're fucked.

Didn't look like it though. After the muddy rain ceased, they rushed to get their pokémon. Well, Kris did. Oakley just beamed up her Bulbasaur with evident disdain on her face. Wow, cold much?

As for Lillian and Yri, they both stood in place and stared at me like I just discovered fire. Hell yeah, basking in the glory of admiration felt good. Real good. Wait…where's Droplet?

I look up and see him coming down. He fell towards me with the same, haunting, smiling expression, as if saying, 'I'm coming to get you.' I had absolutely zero intention of catching him, so I ran for it. Didn't work. Motherfucker slammed into my back harder than I slam my meat during lonely nights.

I got off the ground, dusted myself off and beamed Droplet back in his pokèball. He fulfilled his duty marvelously. I'm definitely going to give him an extra dessert for dinner. But that will come later.

For now, let's see what Lillian, the two kids and the rest of the crowd think of my epic win.

-End of part one-


	5. Chapter 5

Part 2

Okay, few lame claps and mutterings wasn't exactly the kind of praise I anticipated after the grandiose fight that me and Lillian had. Well, I had a grandiose fight. All me, ladies and gentlemen. Nah, I'm kidding. Lillian and her fire chicken did some work too. But that epic finish? All me, baby!

"I won! I won my first battle!" Lillian cheered and hugged her fire pokèmon.

"What?" Run that one by me again? Did she say what I thought she did? "I thought you fought like…at least twenty battles before!"

"Never fought a single one besides a few wild encounters." She beamed out of happiness.

"Wait, you mean, we could've been humiliated out there?"

"Yeah."

"By those two?"

"Yes."

"Wow. You suck."

"You two fought so well!" Kris was pretty much fanboying over me the moment they beamed up their pokèmon. "What even was that final move!? Oh man, it must be great to be so old and experienced!" It's nice to see someone appreciates my epic finisher.

"Ugh...I just started my pokèmon journey few days ago." I pointed out.

"We got beaten by a rookie fossil?" Oakley asked with clear disbelief.

"I'm, fourteen. Far from fossilized. Bitch." Oh she fucking wants to start something. I can see that.

So yeah, after that, the children chatted with each other. Talking about their pokèmon, training, capturing. Complementing each other on their skills and strategies. Stroking each other off pretty much. I wanted none of that action. I simply stood there dead silent and waited for my customary victory pay. For crying out loud, how long can kids talk about freaking pokèmon? It's seriously getting on my nerves.

Having lost my patience, I cut into their talk, "Ahem! The league rules state you have to pay half your cash to the victorious trainer. Cough it up. Now."

"I almost forgot! Sorry." Kris dug around in his backpack for a wallet. Oakley scoffed and pretty much threw money in our faces.

Having received my cut, I had nothing left to do here but move on. Maybe get Droplet fixed up in pokècenter first. "I'm going to piss off now. You kids have fun with-"

I felt someone's hand land on the back of my waist. I immediately turned around, knowing full well what it was. However my punch met thin air as the thief booked it without any rewards. I couldn't see who it was. Tough titty, prick! My pokèballs are on the front of my belt, covered by my jacket too.

I patted the bottom part of my jacket just in case. Underneath it, I could feel my belt, and two minimized pokèballs. Man I dodged Aerial Ace on that one.

The two trainers that we were fighting, Kris and Oakley, both were panicking and arguing with each other. Guess their pets got jacked. Liliana, she was being uncharacteristically still and staring off in the distance with a shocked expression. Oh god damn it, don't tell me-

"My pokèmon. He took my pokèmon." She stammer out with a quivering lip.

Kris complained, Oakley raged, Lilli cried. Man, what a fucking mess. Gonna cut to the point. I don't like thieves. Hate 'em. Bunch of no good, school quitting, tiny penis in a stanky vagina, fuck asses.

And normally, I wouldn't give a crap and would just flip them off. But this damn child, all of them actually, looked like a group of kicked Growlite cubs on the verge of tears. And I suppose I too, would be saddened if someone stole Droplet.

"Well why are you all just standing there!?" I shouted while pulling Lillian along with me. "After him!"

Looks like they heard me, because a second later, we were dashing after the thief like he's made of money. I'm kidding, I'm running after him like he's made of money. It makes me faster.

We were out of Pallet town and in the grassy hills few minutes later, but it looked like the thief had gotten away. Damn. Tough luck. Looks like Lillian came to the realization too, because she was already whimpering. Boy, why did I involve myself in this? Oh yeah, because I want to.

It did look like the asshole ran for the nearby forest few hills away.

"We'll never catch them now!" Kris complained loudly. Bitch please, if you had a big bird pokèmon, it would've been already over.

"I should have worn something different other than a dress and high heels." Oakley whined. The chick is already out of breath. This is what happens when you're pampered all your life. Can't even run a mile.

"Stop crying, you shits." I finally had it with their constant bitching. "I saw the butt weed run into the forest. It's a small one and the coast cuts him off. We will probably trap him in there and get your pets back to you in no time."

"Easy for you to say. Your pokémon didn't get stolen." Lillian pointed at my belt accusingly.

"That's because I take precautions so shit like that doesn't happen. It really pays to be older."

We slowed to a walk. I can say that I felt no exhaustion. Same can't be said about three kids dragging behind me. Regardless, we can't stop now. Might as well discuss a plan of attack. "I say we should charge them when we find them. Surprise their asses."

"That sounds stupid." Lillian shot my idea down, that fucking bitch. "I'm the only girl here, so we will do this my way."

"Fuck do you mean the only girl?" I asked, absolutely perplexed at her statement. There's two of them.

She nodded at Oakley.

"No…" Holy shit.

"Yeah. You're all caught up now, Felix. Enjoy."

I feel violated and therefore I will never be the same.

"Oakley, do you have any backup pokèmon?" Kris asked the…man, I don't fucking know what she, he, it is supposed to be.

"No, all of them, taken."

"Ah goodie, guess we're doing this old school." I cracked my knuckles. If I catch them with their pants down, I might be able to get the kids pets back to them.

"Felix, you still have your pokèmon!" Lilliana stated.

"Yeah, but Droplet is tired and I sure as shit ain't calling Kakuna out." No chance in hell. Kakuna isn't ready for combat yet.

Lucky for us, we found the thief in a forest clearing. The bad part, he wasn't alone. Four people in total. They had a bag full of pokeballs set on the ground and discussing something. Those fucks must've jacked a fuck ton of pokèmon.

We hid in bushes, all four of us. Hid and discussed our plans with hushed tones.

"Do you have any ideas on how to get our pokèmon back?" Lillian asked the two kids.

"Call the police and tell them our location." Oakley suggested, already taking out her phone.

"By the time they arrive, those fags will be gone already." I pointed out. It seems the adult will have to do what needs to be done. "Alright, I'm going in."

"No. Have you lost your mind? There's four of them and they have pokèmon. You will get beaten up." Lilliana protested before I could take off. She has a point. Four on one, odds aren't in my favor. "I'm the only girl in the group. So we do this my way. The smart girl way."

Yeah, no. Not enough time for that. I took off the two pokèballs and gave them to Lillian for safekeeping. "Nah bitch. We do this dong style." I grabbed a fat branch from the ground and rushed out into the open whilst yelling like a madman.

My autistic warcry was enough to surprise and spook the thieves so much that whilst they were getting their pokéballs together, they dropped them by accident.

One went rolling down the small hill towards me. I drew back my arms and slid to a stop just as the ball rolled to my feet. With a loud ding, the tiny thing was launched like a golf ball by my tardiness empowered swing of the branch. Struck one of the thieves right in the face with a satisfying crunch. Probably popped his nose closer to his left cheek, as evidenced by all the blood that went flying. "And it's good!" He toppled over and passed out. That's one.

I saw that one of the other thieves was close to getting her pokémons released, so I flung my improvised weapon. Hit her in the legs. She tried kicking me in the nutsack. I dodged it. "Olè!" Punched her in the neck and she dropped unconscious.

Third guy attacked, this one was big. I wasn't being a gentleman, I went straight for the fucking balls, by taking a nosedive right into his crotch. Personally, I would never ever do that, but this was a special occasion. I got a face full of his dick and let me tell you, head-face-butting someone hurt. Especially at that speed. My sexuality questioning karate earned me a bleeding nose, but in turn, took out the third prick.

Man, fighting does solve everything. Kids, use violence, it is the only way.

There was one more man still standing. Felix versus beard guy now. Arms are heavy, body sweating, moms spaghetti.

I drew back my fist and ran towards the guy. However, he was taller and bigger than me. I was shoved to the ground, thus losing my rhythm. But I did manage to graze his nose with my fist. The second he came closer, I kicked him in the knee and the bastard fell over. When I was getting up, I tried kicking him in the head, but my leg swung past his beard because the fucker leaned out of the way.

I clutched the ground between my fingers and pulled on it, ripping out dirt and grass in the process. Immediately threw it in the guy's face, stood up while he was screaming in pain and decked him in the jaw. On yeah, that one was solid. I kneeled him in the throat for good measure and the bastard slumped, choking on the lack of air from the struck windpipe.

In his rage of getting blinded by dirt and nearly dying to my finisher, he just suddenly charged where he last saw me. Which is, right here where I'm standing. He tackled me and started laying into my body like a punching bag. And let me tell you, getting hit by a muscular dude with fists as large as my face, hurt.

Plan A failed. Execute plan B.

"HELP ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE!" So there was girly screaming involved. Bite me. But hey, three for one is better than nothing. I could taste blood in my mouth and I don't want to sound like a bitch, but ima keep it real with you chief, I cried like a baby.

He beat the shit out of me in a literal blind rage until I could barely see anything through my swelling face. I think I also got a few fractured ribs. It hurt to breathe like crazy. Then I realized something, this isn't some fairy tale or a cartoon. This is real life. In a world that's roamed by beasts, the most dangerous creatures are still the other humans. A tough pill to swallow at such an early age, but I guess it had to happen sooner rather than later.

After he exhausted his fists on me, I tried to crawl away while crying and spitting out blood. ape had other plans. "You're not getting away." He grabbed me by the belt and dragged me back. "Bring me that **ass**!"

"Ah! Stranger danger!" Oh no, no, no. Please great Arcerus don't let this turn into what I think it will. I heard a zipper getting pulled down. FUCK! My fighting spirit was rekindled anew and I began to thrash and kick with my legs. Didn't do much, I got pinned down.

"I'm going to make you squeal for what you just did!" The man growled, his voice hoarse from the knee shot. Okay, I'm officially piss scared. Eye gouge! Jabbed my hand towards his face, hit something damp. Direct hit! Faggot howled like a shot growlite out of pain. If he wants my ass, it'll certainly be no easy task to take it. I freed one of my legs from underneath him and kicked the dickweeed in the neck, thus making him fall off me.

I tried standing up, but a vertigo assaulted me and I got grounded again. Shit. Not good. I could only try to crawl away while the bastard easily got up. God damn it! How much does it take to knock out a guy?

"You're going to get it now, little fu-" A ball of mud hit the back of his head and he toppled over like a falling tree.

Well. That happened. Droplet! Lillian called him out, or so I think, I don't know. I can't see very well through my swelling face.

I saw blurry figures run up to me. "Felix! Dear lord! Hold on, we're going to call-"

"Shhh! Stop yelling. I got a raging headache." I hissed out of irritation. Half an hour or so later, authorities rolled in. Paramedics too. Or so I think, I faded in and out of consciousness during that time.

Woke up in Pallet town's infirmary. White walls, white beds, chanseys running around. At least my headache is gone. My own pokèmon, saw my embarrassing beat down. That's simply a bad impression. At least it wasn't Kakuna that saw it.

A nurse came to check on me, later, a doctor. My swelling has gone down considerably. Shit tons of bruises, no fractures or broken bones thankfully. Am I a tough motherfucker or what? I will however be feeling those bruises for quite some time. I'll have to get some herbal ointments for quicker healing.

I got presented with a nasty six hundred bill. Out of eight hundred, down to two. Fuck my life. This is what I get for throwing my ass out there for someone else's pokèmon? My pokèmon were thankfully with me, both pokèballs were on the nightstand.

A cop came over to question me. I explained everything. He told me about the criminals in return. Evidently, they were some nutcase idiots who were trying to revive the long gone team Rocket. Steal people's rare pokèmon, sell them on the black market, profit, expand.

They got put behind bars of course. As for all the stolen pokèmon, the police are working on returning them to the owners. At least everything ended better than expected. I did however get berated by the officer for taking on several criminals by myself instead of calling the authorities. But! He did thank me for my assistance, which was nice.

I gathered up my belongings, paid the bill and got the fuck out of there. I had difficulty walking, my entire body felt like it got sat on by a snorlax. I had bandaids and bandages all over my head and face. I look like a fucking mummy. And for what? I didn't get anything out of this. I really gotta watch where I put my nose. Next time, I might not be able to punch my way out of trouble.

Regardless, time to put this place behind myself. Next step, travel to the coast near Pallet town. The docks that Lillian told me about. From there, set sail to Cinnabar Island! Whopty fucking do! Time to get some badges.

And guess who I met on the outskirts of Pallet town. The three kids I was with yesterday.

"Felix! How are you feeling?" Lillian asked, likely happy to see me, for some strange reason.

"Alive." Was my response. Those bandages itch like a bitch. Not that I will whine about it.

"Hey, thanks…thanks for getting our pokèmon back." Kris thanked me while holding on to his pikachu like a plush toy. The fucking rat was scowling at me. I swear, I would punch it if I could.

"I didn't get them back. Just got beaten up until cops came. Thank the authorities" Droplet had to save my worthless ass too. Wasn't that manly of me. And I almost got raped. So that's a thing. I'll be feeding Droplet nothing but the best foods from now on.

"Are you seriously acting modest right now?" It was Oakley's turn to get some dialogue. The uptight rich bitch boy. He's definitely not happy with a lower class citizen helping his ass.

"No, I'm not. Stating the facts, how it happened."

"Then I guess that beat down caused a concussion."

"No, I'm simply confused, you're a guy? A girl? Leprechaun?"

While we were exchanging 'pleasantries' with each other, Kris and Lilliana went to have a pokèmon battle with each other. The two of us stood by and observed.

"Why didn't you call out your Pokémon against those guys? Why give them to Lillian and put yourself in danger?" Oakley asked as we watched the two baby pets duke it out with fire and electricity.

"Pokémon fight pokémon. Humans fight humans. That's how it should always be. The second established order is upset and the two ways are mixed up, pokémon are no longer pokémon. They become weapons." Yes, I directly fought pokémon before, but that was out of necessary self defense. "And when you use pokémon to attack people directly, you become as terrible as all of those terrorist teams."

It's horrifying to think what would happen if trainers used pokémon to attack people. It's not like an average joe could stand up to a fucking tyranitar.

"Even if you use them for good reasons?"

"Like I told you, order should not be messed up. Even…even if for good reasons. Rules exist for a reason." Yes, I know it sounds hypocritical coming from me. After all, I plan on using my pokèmon for absolute selfish gain, using them not only as pets but also as weapons. But just because I'm sinking into the rock bottom of degeneracy, that doesn't mean others have to follow my example. "The only time you're justified fighting pokèmon yourself, or siking them on another person is when you have no other option. But that's just my two cents on the topic." If I can teach others to be better than me, that's also good.

"I see. I suppose you're taking off now?"

"Yeah, got a gym battle to get to." I turned to leave for my goal. I've already wasted time. Who knows when my pokèdex will blare out with a notification of a legendary getting spotted. I need to strengthen my team before that happens.

"You're not going to stick around to say goodbye?" Oakley asked, gesturing at the two kids still fighting.

"No." I answered. I simply can't wait any longer. I did however pass on a message. "Give my regards to Lillian. Tell her to guard her chest next time. She'll know what I meant."

And so, I set forth to my first minor goal. Cinnabar Island. Those ferry fees better be light because I'm running out of cash. Hopefully I'll encounter some trainers for a quick money maker. "Pervert!" I heard Lillian yell from way back. Oh yeah, she received the advice alright. I couldn't help but laugh. Know what? This whole journey business is turning out to be quite entertaining.

-End of chapter 5-


End file.
